Macam mana nak jaga hati pasangan masing-masing? Banyak cara dan tingkah laku kita yang samada akan membuatkan pasangan kita semakin sayang atau semakin menjauhkan diri.
Apa yang ingin saya kongsi adalah melalui pengalaman sendiri dan dari pengamatan di sekeliling.
Mari kita lihat apa yang patut dibuat oleh seorang gadis/perempuan untuk memastikan si lelaki akan tetap disampingnya untuk jangka waktu yang lama,InsyaAllah.
UNTUK PANDUAN GADIS/PEREMPUAN:
1) Yang pertama sekali,jangan sekali-kali bersifat mengongkong.
Telah diketahui umum,lelaki amat tidak suka di kongkong. Kalau kebiasaan mereka melepak bersama kawan atau menonton bola dikedai mamak, biarkan begitu. Masa kita bersama mereka akan lebih dihargai apabila mereka tahu kita tidak terlalu menyekat pergerakan mereka.
2) Jangan terlebih cemburu. Memang, cemburu itu tandanya sayang tapi kalau dah terlebih, itu akan menjadi masaalah kepada kedua-dua belah pihak.Pendamkan dulu perasaan itu kemudian siasat. Lepas tu barulah kita soal siasat mereka. Jangan lakukan sebaliknya.
3) Jangan bersifat "available". Sifat ini akan membuatkan mereka fikir yang kita senang digunakan untuk sementara. Lelaki telah dicipta oleh Tuhan dengan sifat suka memburu. Jadi biarkan mereka memburu kita bukan sebaliknya. Mereka akan cepat jemu dengan gadis yang memburu mereka.
4) Jangan terlalu bergantung kepada lelaki. Ini akan membuat mereka seolah-olah sesak nafas kerana kita terlalu mengharap kepada mereka. Cuba tunjukkan sikit sifat berdikari kita.
5) Jangan terlebih manja. Bila dah over sangat manja tu, bukan saja lelaki tu naik muak, orang sekeliling tengok pun dah turut menjuih mulut. Manja kena ada sebab sifat perempuan memang macam tu tapi bukan terlebih.
6) Jangan cuba mengubah cara mereka. Sebagai contoh,sepertinya mereka menghisap rokok. Anda baru mula berkawan dan anda meminta si lelaki tadi berhenti merokok. Dah pulak tu siap bagi warning kalau tak henti kita break. Tak boleh lah macam tu. Memang boleh minta mereka henti merokok tapi secara perlahan-lahan.
7) Jangan memalukan mereka dihadapan rakan taulan mereka. Ego lelaki sangat tinggi. Jika kita melakukan sesuatu yang menyinggung perasaan mereka, ia akan mengambil masa yang lama untuk memujuk semula.
8) Jangan terlalu menonjolkan diri. Perkara ini kerap dilakukan oleh gadis terutamanya dihadapan rakan-rakan teman lelaki tadi. Mereka mungkin tidak akan menunjukkan rasa tidak senang disitu tetapi apabila bersama kita baru diluahkannya. Jadi jangan ulangi lagi.
9) Jangan bersifat bengis atau meninggi diri terutamanya selepas berkahwin. Ini salah satu punca yang menyebabkan kurangnya kemesraan didalam rumah tangga kerana sisuami merasa diri tidak dihormati lagi.
10) Jangan berhenti kerja. Se elok-eloknya simpan kerja kita walaupun suami mampu untuk menanggung diri kita. Ini kerena apabila kita berada dirumah sepanjang masa, suami akan cepat bosan kerana dia tahu kita akan sentiasa dirumah menanti kepulangannya. Ingat lelaki selalu suka memburu dan sebab kedua kerana kita boleh ditinggalkan pada bila-bila masa sahaja pada zaman sekarang kerana banyak pilihan diluar sana yang menanti.
FOR GIRL'S EYES ONLY
How to keep our men/spouse?
There are many ways and behavior that can either bring us closer to the one we love or the other way round.
What I am about to write derives through my experience throughout the years of my marriage life of 24 ups and down years.
Let's see what can be done to ensure our men/spouse will be by our side for a long time if not for life!
1) First and foremost, don't ever be dominating. A slight dominating is cute and acceptable!
Men were known to like to be free.Let them be. If hanging out with friends or watching football is something that they treasure, by all means,let them. They tend to appreciate us more the time spent with them when they know we are giving them some space.
2) Don't over-jealous. That's the worst thing anybody could do. Jealousy is inside all of us. It is good when under control, it shows that we love our partner. Should the need arise for that feeling to emerge, try to keep it inside first, then investigate, then and only then we confront them.
3) Don't become "available". This attitude will make them think that they can have us for fun for a while. Men/boys were created by Him to be a "hunter". They love hunting not hunted. So girls, play your cards well, be nice and intelligent yet don't be too accommodating for them.Believe me, they appreciate you more.Doesn't matter if you are white,black,brown or pale, men are the same.They want something that is hard to get.
4) Don't be over-dependent on them. This will suffocate them. Give some space,let them breathe. Show that you are capable of handling things on your own.
5) Don't be overly sweet. When girls start over-giggling, over sweet, not only the boys will get disgusted,that feeling were shared by the onlookers as well.
6) Don't try to change them.Take for example,smoking. You had just gotten to know them,and you were asking them to quit smoking.That is simply not the right way to do it. Take things easy and it will bring you somewhere.
7) Don't embarrass them in front of their buddies. That's a strict no-no things to do. Not cool at all. Say something that could make them look great in his friends' eyes.They will love that. Remember, men's ego are big.
8) Don't try to stand out excessively in front of his buddies. Girls tend to make this mistake all the time. It's like they are trying to win all his friends adoration. Stay moderate.
9) Don't be harsh or I am-better-than-you attitude especially after we got married. These attitude usually contribute to less or zero intimacy between spouse as he feels that he'd lost the respect from his partner.
10) Don't quit your job. Even if your spouse is willing and can afford your life-style,it is better for us to stay working as we wouldn't know if one day he'd change his mind and left us with nothing.
So girls/ladies, whatever we do, remember, don't show your love towards them more than we should. Keep some love for ourselves. These will keep us sane should the unwanted happens in the future.
Rose
22nd.June '12
