Hello again ,
Blessed to Him for this cooling weather today. It has been raining since 1pm just now. It is 6 now and still raining. I love this kind of weather but at the same time it tends to bring us down and feeling a bit nostalgic. Just like The Carpenters' song, Rainy Days and Mondays (always gets me down).
Then I started thinking, at this time and hour, it would be great if we could go out and hang out with old friends or our best friends sipping tea, relaxing body and mind. Hang on! To begin with,do I have best friend(s) that I can ask out?
I have lots of friends but whom can I call my best friends? Whenever I found someone that I thought could be my best friend/close friend, it turned out differently. It makes me feel like an idiot when the person you thought was your best friend and had announced to others(that she was your dear friend), treated the friendship lightly. Friendship is something that we should all treasure as we cannot find it in any grocery store or by paying someone to be our friend.
To me, friendship is :
i) Come rain or shine, sickness or well, we share together
ii) Be a shoulder to cry on, no matter what.
iii) Helping one another in time of needs
iv) Say hello every now and then
v) Accepting criticism with open heart (vice versa)
vi) Do not think bad of your friends
That is what we called true friends. I agree with what people say, it is hard to find a friend in today's world. I would say that what we have now are superficial friends or acquaintances. Not true friend. What a shame.
I came across a true story in a newspaper some time ago, there was this woman who nearly got run down by a car. Her friend who was by the roadside saw her about to be hit, she ran to the middle of the road and body shield her friend fearlessly. Now that's true friend. But we don't expect any one of our friends to be heroic, enough by being there for us lending their ears.
You may be asking why am I writing this sort of article/blog. No..no..no..nobody had framed me or betrayed me or things like that. Just that, the friends that I know mostly didn't seem to keep their promises. Out of ten, maybe only two will keep their promise.
I am not asking for paid holidays or to buy me lunch or to lend me money or anything materialistic, I am asking them to honour their words when they promised to do something. Otherwise don't.
They broke promises that was so easy to keep such as an appointment to meet up somewhere. when the time came, not even their shadows was there. Promise to come for lunch or dinner at home, again, never showed up. For what reason, again, I don't have a clue. Text me, FB me or whatever modern gadget that you can lay your fingers on, communicate with me. These petty, petty things make me lose my respect towards them as I usually honour my words. Sometimes when I can't, I felt so embarassed that I can't even bring my eyes to meet the person.
Writing about this remind me of a German friend years ago when she worked with me at one place.Her name was Benigna Pfliger She got a three weeks holiday from our working place and she was going home to her family in Germany. She asked me ,"Rose, do you want to have something from my country?. I said I don't know what I want as I am not familiar with Germany. She said, they got good handbags there. She will get me one.
She came back to work after her holiday and looked for me immediately. She apologised profusedly for forgetting to bring the handbag with her. She had already bought it but had left it at her parents home. I said it doesn't matter, she can do so the next time around (if she wants to). I was caught by surprised when (I think) about a week later, she came and hand over to me the handbag that she promised to give me. What a thought. I treasured the bag not because of the value but her thoughtfulness and the way she kept her promise.
That is about keeping the words. Another thing is having bad thoughts about your friend. How could we have that kind of attitude towards our friend. We should always think positive about them knowing that they had always been there for us all these time. Suddenly, one fine day, a third person came and bad mouth our friend and swoosh.. we swallowed that person's word whole heartedly without giving a second thought if that person is trust-worthy enough for us to believe. The least we can do is to walk away rather then listening to whatever garbage she was selling.
I understand everybody is busy at their work place, trying to keep up with the date line, sometimes doesn't even have enough time to grab a bite.
But we must remember, each and every one of us grows old. Soon, we will be a retiree, later on, the children will be leaving us. By then, we will be losing touch one by one with our working colleague. End up, we'll be alone at home not knowing what to do with all the time in hands that we had.
Thus, the best thing to do is, keep your friends close as you wouldn't know when you might need them when you hit rock bottom as families might just be too far away from us when we need them immediately.
Okay, got to pen off now. Get ready for dinner!!
Rose
10th.Sept '12
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Salam buat semua,
JANJI TEMAN BAIK KITA
Alhamdullilah, cuaca kat luar sana hari ni agak mendung dengan hujan yang turun dari pukul 1 tengahari tadi sehingga sekarang (dah pukul 4.45ptg) menyejukkan suasana. Saya paling suka cuaca sebegini tapi pada masa yang sama cuaca begini selalunya membuatkan kita rasa sayu, sedih dan macam-macam lagi perasaan yang datang.
Keadaan sebegini membuatkan saya terfikir, time macam ni, kalau keluar dengan teman baik pergi minum teh kat mana-mana, rehatkan badan dan minda, alangkah indahnya.. Lalu saya terfikir.. saya ni ada teman baik/rapat ke? Saya ni sebetulnya kemaruk kawan.( kemaruk tu maknanya nakkan sesuatu sangat-sangat) Setiap kali saya berkawan dengan sesiapa saja, apabila dah rasa ngam sikit, saya akan regard orang tu sebagai kawan baik saya.Yang sedihnya setiap kali itu juga, saya rasa seperti orang bodoh apabila teman-teman yang saya anggap teman baik itu tadi, seolah-olah tidak menghargai persahabatan yang telah lama dijalin.
Bagi saya, erti persahabatan itu adalah
1) Susah senang, sakit demam kita kongsi bersama
2) Menjadi tempat kita mengadu hal tak kiralah kisah suka duka kita ka, kisah kegembiraan kita ka atau apa-apa saja
3) saling tolong menolong apabila diperlukan (bukan minta pinjam duit)
4) bertanya khabar sekali sekala
5) Bersikap terbuka apabila ditegur dan sebaliknya
6) Jangan berprasangka buruk terhadap teman anda( atau sesiapa saja)
Itu yang dinamakan teman sejati. Tapi betul lah seperti yang dikata, zaman sekarang amat susah untuk kita mencari kawan apatah lagi mencari teman rapat. Saya pernah terbaca dalam suratkhabar beberapa ketika dulu, seorang wanita hampir dilanggar oleh kereta, teman baiknya yang berdiri di tepi jalan berlari ketengah untuk melindungi temannya dari dilanggar. Baiknya hati dia. Kita bukanlah nak harap kawan yang macam tu, cuma jadi seperti diatas saja.
Mesti ramai tertanya-tanya kenapa saya tulis artikel yang macam ni. Bukannya dianiaya atau apa, tapi kebanyakkan sebab adalah janji tak ditepati. Saya ni jenis orang yang berpegang pada janji. Kalau ada 10 orang kawan, saya rasa lapan darinya selalu tak tepati janji, bukannya janji nak minta dia orang belanja makan ka, bawa pergi holiday ka, nak minta pinjam duit ka, nak minta pinjam kereta ka..tak..tak..semua tu tak perlu. Ini janji biasa. Janji kata nak jumpa kat mana-mana tapi tak jadi (kalau call balik bagi tau saya tak kisah, ini langsung tak reti nak text message) janji nak mai makan kat rumah tapi batang hidung pun tak nampak.Janji nak tolong kita dalam satu-satu hal, tengok-tengok tak dak apa. Kita terpinga-pinga dok tunggu janji dia, tapi dia langsung tak call. Perkara kecil macam ni yang membuatkan saya hilang rasa hormat terhadap seseorang itu.
Bila tulis begini, saya teringatkan seorang kawan biasa, orang German. Nama dia Benigna Pfliger. Saya rapat dengan dia sebab tolong ajarkan dia bahasa Inggeris dan juga cara hidup orang kita di sini. Apa yang membuatkan saya ingat pada dia ialah kerana, ada satu hari tu dia nak balik bercuti kekampong halaman dia, dia tanya saya, "Rose, what do you want from Germany?" Saya cakap saya tak tahu apa yang saya nak sebab tak berapa familiar dengan negara tu. Dia cakap, kat sana handbag dia cantik-cantik. Nanti dia belikan untuk saya. Lepas habis cuti dia, kalau tak silap dalam 3 minggu, dia datang balik sambung tugas. Tergesa-gesa dia mencari saya. Bila dah jumpa, dia punya minta maaf non-stop sebab handbag yang dia janji nak beli bagi saya tu, memang dah beli, tapi tertinggal dirumah mak-bapak dia. Saya cakap tak palah. Lain kali bila awak balik kesana lagi, awak boleh beli lain bagi saya. Saya fikirkan habis disitu saja, rupa-rupanya, dia call kat mak dia suruh hantar jugak-jugak handbag tu bagi saya. Tak lama lepas tu saya terima. Saya treasure beg tu sangat-sangat bukan sebab nilai dia tapi sebab dia bersusah payah meminta emaknya mengirim kepada saya. Nilai murni ni yang selalu ditekan dalam agama kita iaitu berpegang pada janji. Kalau rasa tak boleh nak tepati, jangan buat janji. Orang pun tak marah.
Itu jenis yang suka janji tapi tak tau nak tepat janji. Lagi satu pulak yang suka ada prasangka buruk terhadap kawan baik sendiri. Kalau ada orang ketiga cerita buruk pasal teman baik dia, bukannya dia nak tolong cover kawan tu, siap menambah lagi ada, pulak tu percaya bulat-bulat apa yang sipembawa mulut tu sampaikan. Tak baik macam tu.. kalau dah nama teman yang selalu bersama kita, sekurang-kurangnya bela lah sikit dia. Takut nak bersuara, minta izin kita angkat kaki. Kita kurangkan satu dosa mendengar fitnah orang. Habis cerita.
Saya faham, semua orang sibuk dengan tugas masing-masing. Nak kejar dateline, busy sampai tak sempat makan dan macam-macam lagi. Tapi kita juga perlu ingat, kita semakin meningkat tua, sikit hari lagi kita akan pencen. Bila dah pencen, kita akan kehilangan kawan sepejabat satu persatu. Masa tu, tak kan ada kawan lama lagi yang tinggal. Kita sendirian dirumah. Apa kita nak buat? Anak-anak pun dah dewasa, dah bawa haluan masing-masing. Suami kat kedai kopi. Takkan sepanjang hari kita nak baca paper atau menonton TV.
Lagi satu, apabila kita dah pencen, kita akan terasa amat keseorangan. Rasa tak tentu arah sebab terlalu banyak masa terluang. Ini boleh membawa kita kearah kemurungan ataupun dikenali sebagai depression. Saya tujukan peringatan kita kepada teman-teman yang sebaya atau hampir sebaya dengan saya sebab dalam tak berapa tahun lagi sesetengah daripada kita akan pencen. Jadi kita harus bersiap diri dengan merancang apa nak dilakukan selepas bersara. Jangan duduk saja dirumah tanpa ada sesuatu untuk dilakukan. Carilah hobi atau buka bisnes kecil-kecilan untuk mengisi masa lapang kita.
Jadi seeloknya, kita hormatilah teman-teman yang kita ada sekarang sebab mereka pengganti saudara mara atau adik beradik yang tinggal jauh dari kita.
Bertanya khabarlah selalu walaupun melalui face book. Jangan kerana tugas, kita kehilangan teman-teman yang telah kita kenali bertahun tahun lamanya.
Saya mohon maaf sekiranya tulisan saya mengguris hati sesiapa saja tapi ini adalah dari pandangan saya sendiri, tiada niat untuk melukakan hati sesiapa.
Wassalam,
Rose
10th.Sept '11
