Assalamualaikum buat semua,
Alhamdullilah, berjaya juga kita menyempurnakan puasa bulan Ramadhan yang baru berlalu pergi. Sedih sebab dah berakhir Ramadhan dan kalau dipanjangkan umur olehNya bolehlah bertemu lagi ditahun depan. Tapi kalau dah termaktub sampainya masa kita dimasa terdekat ini, kita hanya mampu berdoa semoga diterima ibadah kita yang kadang-kadang cukup, kadang-kadang lalai.
Tahun ini saya berpuasa diPulau Pinang selama 3 minggu sebab meneruskan rawatan barah iaitu radiotherapy di hospital di sana. Saya menumpang tinggal di rumah kakak di Butterworth. Terima kasih banyak kepada kakak saya,Dida dan keluarga kerana membenarkan saya mengganggu hidupnya (wah! macam bahasa sastera la pulak).
Rawatan saya siap pada 16hb.Aug iaitu 3 hari sebelum 1 Syawal. Siap saja rawatan tu lebih kurang pukul 10:30 pagi, saya bersama Sophie terus pulang ke Langkawi dengan memandu kereta Proton Wira ( di bawa keluar dari Langkawi) yang telah berjasa kepada kami sekeluarga selama 12 tahun.
Sampai saja dirumah, kami mula sibuk dengan persiapan hari raya pula. Nasib baik hal-hal berkenaan hiasan dalam rumah,suami yang lakukan. Memang setiap tahun dia yang lakukan. Tugas saya selalunya menentukan apa yang patut ditukar, warna apa yang masuk dengan hiasan dan akhir sekali memasak. Saya sebenarnya dah agak keletihan disebabkan oleh rawatan dan perjalanan pergi balik ke hospital selama 3 minggu itu tapi disebabkan rasa kasihan meninggalkan anak-anak begitu lama, saya gagahkan diri juga untuk membuat sedikit jamuan ringan pada hari raya pertama untuk rakan-rakan mereka. Alhamdullilah, semuanya berjalan lancar.
Lega sepasai (bak kata orang utara).. Belum pun habis penat, kami terpaksa keluar ke Kuala Lumpur untuk menghantar Sophie yang akan memulakan hidupnya sebagai seorang pelajar kolej. Kami bertolak keluar pada raya kedua dengan mengambil feri terakhir iaitu pukul 7malam. Kereta Wira yang saya tinggalkan di Kuala Kedah tak boleh start pulak.Setelah berkali-kali dicuba baru boleh. Kami tawakkal saja. Kalau mati ditengah jalan, fikirlah sendiri apa nak buat. (Tapi saya dah tukar banyak spare part dan servis sekali sebelum mengambil keputusan untuk memandu ke K.L.)
Sampai juga kami ke Subang Jaya pada pagi raya ketiga. Check in kat hotel yang berhampiran kolej Sophie. Saya, suami, Sophie dan Sara dah keletihan sebab semalaman di perjalanan. Apa tunggu lagi, masing-masing tarik selimut dan tidur sampai pukul 2 petang. Lepas tu baru kami keluar cari makan.
Keesokan hari, sibuk dengan hal-hal pendaftaran nya pulak. Ke hulu hilir untuk menyempurnakan segala hal-hal berkaitan kemasukkannya.
Semakin dekat hari saya nak meninggalkannya (Sophie) semakin sebak rasa di dada. Ya Allah, dia baru saja balik dari U.S hari tu, baru sebulan kami bersama dengan dia, dah nak kena hantar lagi pulak. Inilah yang dikatakan hati seorang ibu, sekuat-kuat hati ibu, bilamana hal-hal berkaitan anak, kita menjadi selemah-lemah manusia. Kalau boleh tak nak tengok semut seekor pun menggigit mereka. Sampai terfikir nak beli rumah disana supaya dekat dengannya dan tukar sekolah Sara ke sana. Senang cerita. Tapi kalau dah pindah kesana, nak kerja apa pulak? Haih..pening..Kalau anak lelaki tu kita confident la sikit..ni anak pompuan.
Kami dah plan nak balik ke Langkawi pada hari Jumaat seawal pukul lima pagi.Tup-tup, petang khamis tu, lagi sekali kereta tak boleh start. Dah cuba berkali-kali tak boleh boleh jugak. Dah tak boleh nak buat apa lagi dah sebab time tu pun dah pukul 7 malam. Kedai kedai pomen pun dah tutup. Kami harap esok mekanik mai tengok sikit-sikit,lepas tu okay la kot. Rupanya-rupanya memang tak boleh start terus sebab fuel pump dia dah tak berfungsi. Kereta tu di tow ke workshop dan siap lebih kurang pukul 2petang. Pulak tu, macam tak cukup belanja hari raya, kena pula RM 540 untuk tukar fuel pump dengan tow charges sekali. Mak aii.. sakit jiwa kalau macam ni selalu..
Jadi, kami pun terpaksalah bertolak balik pada lebih kurang pukul 2.45petang. Saya lagi sekali terpaksa menelefon kakak saya,Dida untuk menumpang tidur dirumahnya untuk 1 malam. Sebab feri terakhir ke Langkawi pukul 7 malam. Dah tentu tak dan nak ambik feri tu. Saya memang rasa tak selesa sebab terpaksa mengganggu nya lagi tapi terpaksa sebab dah suntuk untuk memikirkan altenatif lain.
Kami keluar seawal jam 7.50pagi untuk balik ke Langkawi. Dan akhirnya kami sampai juga ke home sweet home.Barulah saya dapat berehat dengan sepenuhnya. Saya biarkan baju berlambak sebelum mencucinya keesokan hari.
Saya mula merindui anak gadis saya yang berseorangan di sana. Saya mula menangis apabila bercakap dan mendengar suaranya. Seperti kata Sophie, kami (saya, Sophie dan Sara) umpama The Three Musketeers. Tagline mereka ialah "All for One and One for All" Itulah kami. Kami terlalu rapat sehingga saya kadang-kadang risau, apa akan jadi pada salah seorang daripada kami sekiranya sesuatu yang tak diingini berlaku. Na"uzubillah. Kami boleh bercakap tentang segalanya bersama, sehinggakan kalau seorang baru berkata sesuatu, seorang lagi boleh menghabiskan ayatnya dengan betul. Walaupun mereka hanya baru belasan tahun tetapi mereka peka dengan isu di sekeliling. Kami boleh bercakap tentang cuaca, tentang musik (walaupun musik sekarang tu entah apa-apa... pada pendengaran saya) tentang politik dan segala macam lagi.
Rasanya, kita semua (ibu-bapa) akan melalui fasa yang sama iaitu terpaksa melepaskan anak-anak pergi setelah selesai tugas kita membesarkan mereka. Walaupun kita tidak akan pernah berhenti risau tentang kehidupan dan masa depan mereka selagi hayat dikandung badan. Semoga Syawal ini memberi seribu satu ketenangan dan kehidupan yang lebih bermakna buat kita semua.
Wassalam,
Rose
28th.Aug '12
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
MY BUSY WEEKS
Hello people,
What a hectic month it has been for me. Ramadhan comes and goes. Praise be to God for we had succeeded in completing the fasting month with patience and sincerity.
I had to be in Penang for my radiotheraphy treatment for three weeks. That means for 3 weeks I had to stay with my sister as her place is the closest to the hospital. Thanks to her and her family for their hospitality.
I drive daily from my sister's place to the hospital via expressway and Penang bridge which takes about 40 minutes to get there. I brought my 12 year old car (it has been good to me all these while) to mainland for easy accessibility.
My final treatment was on the 16th.Aug. By 10:30am I am done. I am amazed with myself that I can still drive on my own right after my radiotherapy treatment. We, Sophie and I, drove straight from Penang Island to Kuala Kedah (took us about one and a half hour) to board a ferry that will take us to Langkawi Island.
Upon reaching home, I didn't have much time to laze around. The "Eid" is just 3 days away. Had to get myself to the wet market in the evening for some fresh meat, chicken, veges and other necessities. Being one of the islanders, we rely on food sources from mainland. That means during festive seasons, the tow boat or cargo boat will cease their operations for a few days. That is why I had to buy all those aplenty, enough to last us for a week. On top of that, I had given my words to the kids that we'll prepare some food for their school friends during Raya/Eid open house. For those who doesn't live in Malaysia, open house is a term we use during festive seasons where we cook a variety of festive meals and everyone and anyone can come uninvited to sample the food, but usually friends and families are the only ones who will stop by. Rest assured, even when there was no more food left, the host would still come out with some drinks and cookies for their guests.
The house needed some serious spring cleaning. I leave that to my husband. My job is to cook and the girls will help me with it.
The big day came and everything worked out nicely. There were about forty to fifty friends of theirs turned up.The food was plentiful and the sky turned out to be clear and blue. We would usually go for Eid special prayer at the nearest mosque in the morning but since we were having an open house, I missed out that particular prayer as I do not have enough time at hand.
The next day, we left Langkawi by the last ferry to get to Kuala Lumpur as Sophie will start her college life on the 22nd.Aug. Upon reaching Kuala Kedah, we met the guy who'd been good enough to look after our car for the past few days. Suddenly, the car refused to start. My husband tried a few times when at last it started revving up.Oh my..let's hope it will bring us through 400 something kilometer safely.
We left Kuala Kedah about 10pm and stopped at almost every R & R (rest n relax) to while away the time so that we'll reach K.L not too early in the morning. We got there at 09:30am in one piece. The car worked wonders considering it's age and the long trip. The fatiqueness is catching up on us,especially me. We checked into the hotel and the four of us just pulled the blankets and sleep away until after 2pm. Only then we went out to look for some food.
The next morning, we were busy with Sophie's registration and a briefing for student's parents conducted by the college officers. Finally we were free in the evening. Grab some food for dinner and head to bed early.
We planned to leave K.L early in the morning, like 5am. But we can only planned as this time our car refused to start at all. It was late and we had no choice but to leave the car where it was. We'll find a mechanic by tommorrow.
It turned out that the fuel pump was at faulty. The car had to be towed to the nearest garage. The car was ready by 1.30pm. We had to fork out RM540.00 for that stupid pump. Urggh..I need to visit a spa..pronto..
As we were about to leave this place, my heart is sinking. Sinking deep. I am missing my girl. She were to be left alone again. It's tearing me apart. I love having her with me and together with her baby sister, Sara we make a good team. Sophie called us The Three Musketeers. All For One and One for All..tagline for these trio was applicable to us as well.
When finally we got home to Langkawi, I was an absolute wreck. My legs were kind of wobbly and my back were hurting so much. I left all those dirty laundry until the next day and all that I wanna do is sleep,sleep and more sleep.
I am missing her so much that it hurts. Whenever she called and said she missed me and that she wanted to snuggle next to me, I cried. Whenever she said she hasn't had her lunch yet, I cried. What is wrong with me? She fared well the time when she were in the U.S for 6 months and now I am crying when she was just a few hours away from home? Silly me. I guess I am crying because this time she will not be returning home like she used to. This time around, she will only stay for a while coz right after graduation, she'll be starting to live a full life of a grown up, that means working. I am missing the moment when the three of us together. we will talk about everything under the sun, from weather to food to boyfriends and even politics. I am missing those quality talks with her and soon her little sister,Sara, will follow her footstep.
We,the parents, I am sure, share the same heart-breaking feeling,when they left home, the same sadness when the house was quiet without their laughter and the same loss when their finally lead their own lives without needing us to guide them any more.
Whatever it is, I am proud of my daughter. She may looked fragile and a softie but she's got a strong heart. She'll survive no matter where she is. I will always love you no matter what.
Okay, that's it for today. I am writing to let every body out there to know how hectic my life had been for the past month..ha..ha..as if anybody would care. Whatever it is..enjoy life while you can..
Bye for now,
Rose 28th.Aug '12
I Got Cancer
Salam to all the Muslims & hello to everyone,
It has been almost 3 weeks since I last updated my blog.. Hectic schedule has made it quite impossible for me to catch up with daily mundane.
It has been in my mind for quite some time to write about this issue but I keep on putting it off and keep changing my mind every time I thought I got the courage of doing so. This morning after Sahur (early breakfast for those who fast during Ramadhan month), I said to myself I had to be brave. It's nothing. It's just cancer.
Yes, I'd like to write something about people with cancer as I am ONE of them. I've got breast cancer. There, it's out in the open. (even though my heart is beating so fast at the time I am writing it) I don't know why, but I feel kind of weird to let it out in the open. Maybe I don't want people's sympathy or the sorry look that one gave whenever they got to know that someone they know is battling for life because of this disease.
When I said hectic schedule that's because I am now in Penang for 3 weeks for my final treatment to battling this disease. I am here for radiotheraphy. I had to leave my husband and children back home in Langkawi. Since Sophie will only start her college in the last week of this month, she accompanies me whilst I am here in Penang. God had planned it in such a way that I am left in the capable hand of Sophie. Even though she's just only eighteen, she has become indispensable to me. She's such a darling. Usually, Sara, my other daughter will be with me but since this treatment is taking too much time, she is left with her dad and brothers. Poor baby..(oh she's 16 by the way) only to me she's still a baby.
I got to know about the disease last year in July. I don't know how to say about it. Was I in shock? Not really because I kind of expect it. I don't know why I said that but it's true. At the back of my mind, I thought I will have cancer one day and I did. How I feel about it? Again, I don't know. At first, when the doctors told me about it, I was calm. I didn't cry nor was I in state of agony, I just ask them quietly what stage was I. They said they can't confirm it yet. Will let me know in a week's time.
Mixed feeling and reaction came later after about a week. Initially,I cried for thinking I may die in a few years time. Oh my God, what about my children? My daughters? Who would be there to share their stories after coming home from school? Who would care for them the way I care for them all this while? I am sure their dad would be there for them but he is not me. He wouldn't know how to make them feel better when they are down. My boys. However much headaches they had given me, they are still my precious little boys. Who would want to have them? All these thoughts keep on lingering in my head that I don't have much time for anything else.
The first one month was the worst. I felt terrible. As if my mixed feeling of sadness,anger and fear didn't come into account, I had to start this treatment called chemotherapy. I hate it with all my might. Had to endure long hours with the drip stuck into the vein. It took six months before completing the whole session.The after treatment was worse. I felt nauseous,head-aches and lost of appetites. I hate the sight and smell of the hospital. It had become my second home. I soon lost all my hair. I looked hideous.I felt so unloved but this family of mine is one in a million. Each and everyone of them keep loving and caring for me even when I am in my foul mood.
Then came the thought, How will I die? Will I die slowly and in pain? Will it affect my family to see me dying? I especially worried about my 2 girls as we were always together sharing silly jokes and stories. I finally got my strength one day when I heard Sara cried when she thought I was already asleep and when Sophie rest her head on my shoulder at our little porch one evening and said quietly to me that we will fight together and that she wants me to get well soon so that she can take me travelling around the world with her one day. What else can you ask from Him? I am blessed with this family of mind and I promised myself that I will fight for their sake. If my time comes sooner that expected, at least they remembered me as someone who is always cheerful and has a positive thinking.
That is what I am doing now. Though,they may not know the true thoughts inside my mind, they know that I am sincerely fighting it for them and that I will not stop fighting it till the last breath of mine were taken by my Creator.
I hope my little blog will give some inspiration for those who had the same disease. Don't stop fighting. Remember each and everyone of us will die. The only difference is we kind of know our time might be sooner than others. That's all. But then again, we may out-lived others. It's in His hand. We're mere mortals, so enjoy what we have while it lasts.
That's all for today. God bless you and till next time. I am out.
Rose
4th.Aug '12
It has been almost 3 weeks since I last updated my blog.. Hectic schedule has made it quite impossible for me to catch up with daily mundane.
It has been in my mind for quite some time to write about this issue but I keep on putting it off and keep changing my mind every time I thought I got the courage of doing so. This morning after Sahur (early breakfast for those who fast during Ramadhan month), I said to myself I had to be brave. It's nothing. It's just cancer.
Yes, I'd like to write something about people with cancer as I am ONE of them. I've got breast cancer. There, it's out in the open. (even though my heart is beating so fast at the time I am writing it) I don't know why, but I feel kind of weird to let it out in the open. Maybe I don't want people's sympathy or the sorry look that one gave whenever they got to know that someone they know is battling for life because of this disease.
When I said hectic schedule that's because I am now in Penang for 3 weeks for my final treatment to battling this disease. I am here for radiotheraphy. I had to leave my husband and children back home in Langkawi. Since Sophie will only start her college in the last week of this month, she accompanies me whilst I am here in Penang. God had planned it in such a way that I am left in the capable hand of Sophie. Even though she's just only eighteen, she has become indispensable to me. She's such a darling. Usually, Sara, my other daughter will be with me but since this treatment is taking too much time, she is left with her dad and brothers. Poor baby..(oh she's 16 by the way) only to me she's still a baby.
I got to know about the disease last year in July. I don't know how to say about it. Was I in shock? Not really because I kind of expect it. I don't know why I said that but it's true. At the back of my mind, I thought I will have cancer one day and I did. How I feel about it? Again, I don't know. At first, when the doctors told me about it, I was calm. I didn't cry nor was I in state of agony, I just ask them quietly what stage was I. They said they can't confirm it yet. Will let me know in a week's time.
Mixed feeling and reaction came later after about a week. Initially,I cried for thinking I may die in a few years time. Oh my God, what about my children? My daughters? Who would be there to share their stories after coming home from school? Who would care for them the way I care for them all this while? I am sure their dad would be there for them but he is not me. He wouldn't know how to make them feel better when they are down. My boys. However much headaches they had given me, they are still my precious little boys. Who would want to have them? All these thoughts keep on lingering in my head that I don't have much time for anything else.
The first one month was the worst. I felt terrible. As if my mixed feeling of sadness,anger and fear didn't come into account, I had to start this treatment called chemotherapy. I hate it with all my might. Had to endure long hours with the drip stuck into the vein. It took six months before completing the whole session.The after treatment was worse. I felt nauseous,head-aches and lost of appetites. I hate the sight and smell of the hospital. It had become my second home. I soon lost all my hair. I looked hideous.I felt so unloved but this family of mine is one in a million. Each and everyone of them keep loving and caring for me even when I am in my foul mood.
Then came the thought, How will I die? Will I die slowly and in pain? Will it affect my family to see me dying? I especially worried about my 2 girls as we were always together sharing silly jokes and stories. I finally got my strength one day when I heard Sara cried when she thought I was already asleep and when Sophie rest her head on my shoulder at our little porch one evening and said quietly to me that we will fight together and that she wants me to get well soon so that she can take me travelling around the world with her one day. What else can you ask from Him? I am blessed with this family of mind and I promised myself that I will fight for their sake. If my time comes sooner that expected, at least they remembered me as someone who is always cheerful and has a positive thinking.
That is what I am doing now. Though,they may not know the true thoughts inside my mind, they know that I am sincerely fighting it for them and that I will not stop fighting it till the last breath of mine were taken by my Creator.
I hope my little blog will give some inspiration for those who had the same disease. Don't stop fighting. Remember each and everyone of us will die. The only difference is we kind of know our time might be sooner than others. That's all. But then again, we may out-lived others. It's in His hand. We're mere mortals, so enjoy what we have while it lasts.
That's all for today. God bless you and till next time. I am out.
Rose
4th.Aug '12
Ramadhan Datang Lagi
RAMADHAN DATANG LAGI
Assalamualaikum buat muslimin semua,
Alhamdulillah, bertemu juga kita dengan Ramadhan tahun ni. Seperti tahun-tahun yang lepas, alhamdulillah, kami sekeluarga (6 orang semuanya) ada di rumah. Walaupun ada masanya anak-anak pergi bekerja diluar Langkawi atau ke luar negara buat seketika, tapi sekarang, hari ini semua berada dirumah. Di tambah pula pada saat saya menulis blog ini iaitu pagi Sabtu (hari pertama) berpuasa, kedua-dua anak lelaki cuti mingguan (off day), jadi petang ni waktu berbuka nanti, pasti meriah dengan gelagat dan riuh rendah suara mereka.
Malam tadi saya bersama anak gadis pergi menunaikan solat sunat Muakkad iaitu solat Tarawih. Suasana sebelum menyambut puasa adalah suatu suasana yang sungguh indah.Habis saja solat Maghrib, kami bersiap-siap untuk kemasjid. Anak lelaki saya dah bersuka rela nak hantar kami ke masjid. Sebelum ke luar rumah, dia melihat saya memakai jubah baru dan bertudung hitam. "Wah, mama pakai baju baru ni". Jawab saya pula,"Ya lah. ma nak pi jumpa Tuhan. Nak la juga nampak cantik. Pian jom la ikut sekali". Dia tersengih-sengih. Kalau macam tu memang tak pi la tu. Tapi saya tak nak memaksa. Kalau selalu kita ajak, kita usik sambil melawak dengan mereka ,insyaallah satu hari nanti akan terbuka juga hati mereka untuk ikut sekali. Saya pun bukanlah seorang yang tinggi ilmu agamanya. Saya pun masih merangkak mencari keredhaannya. Tapi saya cuba melakukannya dengan hati yang ikhlas. Moga-moga diterima ibadah saya ini..
Kami kemasjid agak awal, dalam pukul 8.30malam , kami keluar rumah, bukannya apa, tapi memandangkan malam pertama Tarawih, selalunya masjid sesak. Jadi bila dah awal tu, tak ada la nak kelam kabut. Mana nak cari tempat letak kasut lagi(takut hilang), nak cari tempat duduk dan juga kalau terjumpa kenalan nak juga ber hello-hello. Habis 'Isyak, berehat sekejap, lepas tu terus Tarawih. Suara Imam jelas sungguh. Sedap bacaan dia.Bacaan dia laju. Si Sophie, anak saya, merungut sikit, katanya imam baca laju sangat. Tapi bagi saya okay ja, janji jelas supaya senang kita nak ikut. Dia bermula dengan surah AL Baqarah. Kalau dapat ikut Tarawih ni sampai kepenghujung dapat juga khatam Quran dalam bulan ni,kan?
Apa yang membuat kita seolah-olah tidak sabar menanti tibanya bulan Ramadhan? Padahal kalau daripada pandangan orang bukan Islam, mereka mungkin akan mengatakan, "Eh, tak maulah saya puasa. Teruknya nak tunggu dari pagi sampai lewat petang." Tetapi itulah yang dikatakan iman. Kita dapat menunaikan tanggung-jawab kita sebagai seorang Muslim dengan selambanya. Memang la letih pada dua atau tiga hari pertama, tapi lepas tu dah macam tak puasa dah. Suasana bulan Ramadhan itu sendiri yang membuat kita tertunggu-tunggu setiap tahun.Dulu-dulu masa muda malas nak buat semua ni (pergi terawih), tapi bila dah masuk usia senja ni, baru rasa nikmat berpuasa. Jiwa rasa tenang, perasaan marah pun dah kurang, tapi yang paling best, dosa mengata kat orang dah kurang banyak..tau kenapa? Sebab saya sekarang dah tak kerja..duduk kat rumah saja. Saya pulak jarang keluar rumah bertandang kerumah jiran atau kawan. Kalau keluar pun dengan anak-anak. Jadi, macam saya tulis tadi lah..kurang sikit dosa mengumpat tu..Dan bila duduk dirumah tu.. rajin sikit la dari selalunya.. buat sikit sebanyak ibadah yang boleh dibuat, umpamanya membaca Quran. Bukannya lama pun. Saya selalu suka membaca selepas solat Subuh.. sejuk sikit,lagipun suasana di luar sunyi, aman dan tenang. Terapi untuk minda..wah, bunyi dah macam Dr Fadzilah Kamsah la pulak. Tak dapat banyak,sikit pun jadilah. Insyaallah, mungkin satu hari nanti saya akan dapat menjadi wanita yang solehah pulak. Doa-doakanlah untuk saya ya!
First day puasa ni,tentu ramai tengah memikirkan apalah nak dimasak hari ni. Apapun kita janganlah terlalu berlebih-lebihan pulak. Sayang makanan yang belambak tu kita buang..membazir sangat. Si Sophie nak makan asam pedas, abah dia pulak tak berapa nak suka asam pedas, jadi rasanya saya nak masak sikit gulai ikan kering, buat kerabu sikit, last goreng ikan atau ayam. Untuk dessert buat agar-agar santan. Kira okay la tu.Yang dua lelaki tu memang confirm puasa hari ni sebab cuti. Kadang-kadang tu ada jugak dia orang ponteng. Letih, busy sangat (time kerja), kata dia orang. Saya cuma boleh nasihatkan aja, nak garang-garang macam dia orang kecik2 dulu dah tak boleh lagi dah,ehh bukan tak boleh tapi tak manis sebab dah boleh jadi suami/bapa orang pun nak kena jerit lagi ke? Yaya, si bongsu tu, makanan apa pun yang saya masak, sesedap mana pun makanan tu kalau tak ada ayam maka tak sahlah hidangan bagi dia. Even kalau saya buat koay tiew pun,(nak juga masukkan kerang atau udang) perencah utama tetap ayam. Haii..letih jugak dengan perangai anak-anak ni. Tapi itulah...macam yang selalu orang cakapkan, kalau tak ada anak-anak macam makanan tak bergaram.
Jadi, ini sajalah yang dapat saya fikirkan untuk blog kali ini. Sama-samalah kita menjalani ibadah puasa tahun ini dengan penuh kesyukuran dan moga-moga diberi keberkatan dan kesihatan yang baik sepanjang hayat..Insyaallah..
Rose
21hb July '12
Assalamualaikum buat muslimin semua,
Alhamdulillah, bertemu juga kita dengan Ramadhan tahun ni. Seperti tahun-tahun yang lepas, alhamdulillah, kami sekeluarga (6 orang semuanya) ada di rumah. Walaupun ada masanya anak-anak pergi bekerja diluar Langkawi atau ke luar negara buat seketika, tapi sekarang, hari ini semua berada dirumah. Di tambah pula pada saat saya menulis blog ini iaitu pagi Sabtu (hari pertama) berpuasa, kedua-dua anak lelaki cuti mingguan (off day), jadi petang ni waktu berbuka nanti, pasti meriah dengan gelagat dan riuh rendah suara mereka.
Malam tadi saya bersama anak gadis pergi menunaikan solat sunat Muakkad iaitu solat Tarawih. Suasana sebelum menyambut puasa adalah suatu suasana yang sungguh indah.Habis saja solat Maghrib, kami bersiap-siap untuk kemasjid. Anak lelaki saya dah bersuka rela nak hantar kami ke masjid. Sebelum ke luar rumah, dia melihat saya memakai jubah baru dan bertudung hitam. "Wah, mama pakai baju baru ni". Jawab saya pula,"Ya lah. ma nak pi jumpa Tuhan. Nak la juga nampak cantik. Pian jom la ikut sekali". Dia tersengih-sengih. Kalau macam tu memang tak pi la tu. Tapi saya tak nak memaksa. Kalau selalu kita ajak, kita usik sambil melawak dengan mereka ,insyaallah satu hari nanti akan terbuka juga hati mereka untuk ikut sekali. Saya pun bukanlah seorang yang tinggi ilmu agamanya. Saya pun masih merangkak mencari keredhaannya. Tapi saya cuba melakukannya dengan hati yang ikhlas. Moga-moga diterima ibadah saya ini..
Kami kemasjid agak awal, dalam pukul 8.30malam , kami keluar rumah, bukannya apa, tapi memandangkan malam pertama Tarawih, selalunya masjid sesak. Jadi bila dah awal tu, tak ada la nak kelam kabut. Mana nak cari tempat letak kasut lagi(takut hilang), nak cari tempat duduk dan juga kalau terjumpa kenalan nak juga ber hello-hello. Habis 'Isyak, berehat sekejap, lepas tu terus Tarawih. Suara Imam jelas sungguh. Sedap bacaan dia.Bacaan dia laju. Si Sophie, anak saya, merungut sikit, katanya imam baca laju sangat. Tapi bagi saya okay ja, janji jelas supaya senang kita nak ikut. Dia bermula dengan surah AL Baqarah. Kalau dapat ikut Tarawih ni sampai kepenghujung dapat juga khatam Quran dalam bulan ni,kan?
Apa yang membuat kita seolah-olah tidak sabar menanti tibanya bulan Ramadhan? Padahal kalau daripada pandangan orang bukan Islam, mereka mungkin akan mengatakan, "Eh, tak maulah saya puasa. Teruknya nak tunggu dari pagi sampai lewat petang." Tetapi itulah yang dikatakan iman. Kita dapat menunaikan tanggung-jawab kita sebagai seorang Muslim dengan selambanya. Memang la letih pada dua atau tiga hari pertama, tapi lepas tu dah macam tak puasa dah. Suasana bulan Ramadhan itu sendiri yang membuat kita tertunggu-tunggu setiap tahun.Dulu-dulu masa muda malas nak buat semua ni (pergi terawih), tapi bila dah masuk usia senja ni, baru rasa nikmat berpuasa. Jiwa rasa tenang, perasaan marah pun dah kurang, tapi yang paling best, dosa mengata kat orang dah kurang banyak..tau kenapa? Sebab saya sekarang dah tak kerja..duduk kat rumah saja. Saya pulak jarang keluar rumah bertandang kerumah jiran atau kawan. Kalau keluar pun dengan anak-anak. Jadi, macam saya tulis tadi lah..kurang sikit dosa mengumpat tu..Dan bila duduk dirumah tu.. rajin sikit la dari selalunya.. buat sikit sebanyak ibadah yang boleh dibuat, umpamanya membaca Quran. Bukannya lama pun. Saya selalu suka membaca selepas solat Subuh.. sejuk sikit,lagipun suasana di luar sunyi, aman dan tenang. Terapi untuk minda..wah, bunyi dah macam Dr Fadzilah Kamsah la pulak. Tak dapat banyak,sikit pun jadilah. Insyaallah, mungkin satu hari nanti saya akan dapat menjadi wanita yang solehah pulak. Doa-doakanlah untuk saya ya!
First day puasa ni,tentu ramai tengah memikirkan apalah nak dimasak hari ni. Apapun kita janganlah terlalu berlebih-lebihan pulak. Sayang makanan yang belambak tu kita buang..membazir sangat. Si Sophie nak makan asam pedas, abah dia pulak tak berapa nak suka asam pedas, jadi rasanya saya nak masak sikit gulai ikan kering, buat kerabu sikit, last goreng ikan atau ayam. Untuk dessert buat agar-agar santan. Kira okay la tu.Yang dua lelaki tu memang confirm puasa hari ni sebab cuti. Kadang-kadang tu ada jugak dia orang ponteng. Letih, busy sangat (time kerja), kata dia orang. Saya cuma boleh nasihatkan aja, nak garang-garang macam dia orang kecik2 dulu dah tak boleh lagi dah,ehh bukan tak boleh tapi tak manis sebab dah boleh jadi suami/bapa orang pun nak kena jerit lagi ke? Yaya, si bongsu tu, makanan apa pun yang saya masak, sesedap mana pun makanan tu kalau tak ada ayam maka tak sahlah hidangan bagi dia. Even kalau saya buat koay tiew pun,(nak juga masukkan kerang atau udang) perencah utama tetap ayam. Haii..letih jugak dengan perangai anak-anak ni. Tapi itulah...macam yang selalu orang cakapkan, kalau tak ada anak-anak macam makanan tak bergaram.
Jadi, ini sajalah yang dapat saya fikirkan untuk blog kali ini. Sama-samalah kita menjalani ibadah puasa tahun ini dengan penuh kesyukuran dan moga-moga diberi keberkatan dan kesihatan yang baik sepanjang hayat..Insyaallah..
Rose
21hb July '12
Mengambil ringan sesuatu perkara
MEREMEHKAN ATAU MENGAMBIL RINGAN SESUATU PERKARA
Pernah tak pada satu hari kita duduk dan fikirkan kenapa kita meremehkan sesuatu perkara yang seharusnya kita lakukan segera? Selalunya tidak. Kita tak pernah nak ambil pusing pun pasal benda sebegini sehinggalah kita kehilangan sesuatu atau se seorang.
Saya tinggal di pulau. Pada saya dan saya percaya ramai orang diluar sana pun bersetuju dengan saya yang Pulau Langkawi adalah salah satu dari pulau-pulau yang tercantik di dunia.
Cuba teka dah berapa saya pergi berkelah atau mandi-manda ataupun memancing? Rasanya untuk berenang sekali setahun dan untuk memancing empat bulan sekali. Mesti ramaiyang kata..ruginya. Dah duduk dekat pantai, tak reti nak pergi pulak..
Itulah yang saya katakan kita mengambil ringan sesuatu perkara.
Mari kita ambil contoh yang lain.Kita pernah rapat dengan seseorang. Disebabkan dia mungkin pernah menyakitkan hati anda, anda telah menjauhkan diri daripadanya. Bukannya tak ingat untuk berbaik semula, tetapi anda selalu mengambil sikap, "ahh,biarlah dulu". Sikap beginilah yang selalu merugikan kita. Satu hari, seorang rakan bersama (mutual friend) datang kerumah membawa berita yang tidak disangka. Rakan anda itu telah meninggal dunia. Terkedu dengan berita itu anda terduduk seketika. Masa tu baru anda terfikir, "Ya Allah, apa aku dah buat ni?" Kenapalah aku tidak melupakan saja perkara yang dah berlalu dan cuba berbaik dengannya? Yang menyedihkan lagi ialah, apabila anda pergi melawat jenazah dan bertemu dengan ibu bapanya. Mereka mengatakan yang mereka sangat gembira kerana akhirnya dapat bertemu dengan anda sebab anak mereka selalu menceritakan perkara yang baik-baik tentang anda. Sedihkan? Tapi itulah kita..
Hah, topik ni yang saya suka. Anak-anak. Dia orang tahu kita selalu ada dibelakang untuk membetulkan keadaan. Dia orang tahu kita selalu ada dikala mereka didalam kesusahan. Kita juga menjadi bank kesukaan mereka sebab dapat buat pinjaman dengan serta merta tanpa faedah. Kadang-kadang tak payah bayar balik pun.
Kita beri kemewahan yang melimpah yang membuatkan mereka alpa. Bahagian ni mak bapak salah juga. Terlalu memanjakan anak-anak. Tetapi anak-anak ni pun satu. Dah mak bapak tolong, jangan la ambil kesempatan sampai tak tahu nak berusaha sendiri. Janganla terlalu bergantung harap kepada ibubapa anda. Semua orang akan mati, termasuk mak bapak. Mereka bukan nya boleh menongkat langit. Anak-anak, cubalah menjadi dewasa. Ini untuk kebaikan sendiri. Jangan ambil kesempatan diatas kemurahan hati ibu bapa anda.
Kita diberi tugasan oleh bos ditempat kerja atau pun membuat thesis yang diberi oleh pensyarah di kolej. Benda tu perlu di hantar balik masa dua minggu. Perkara pertama yang datang dalam otak ialah, "lambat lagi. Biarlah dulu." Dua minggu dah tukar jadi seminggu. Itupun kita masih lagi melalaikannya. Bila dah dekat sangat hari baru kita jadi kelam kabut. Masa tu pandai pulak cari idea nak temberang kat bos atau pensyarah. Siapa yang susah? Kita juga. Kenapalah kita tak boleh buat aja bila disuruh, sikit-sikit pun tak apa. Lambat laun habis juga..
Kita tahu keadaan kereta kita macam mana. Walaupun dah pakai sepuluh tahun, kita masih sayang dan jaganya macam baby kita. Bila kita nampak lampu kuning kecik kat dashboard kereta tu menunjukkan minyak nak habis, kita fikir biarlah dulu, lampu ni pun bukan betul sangat. Kadang-kadang ada minyak pun keluar warning juga. Jadi kita terus memandu. Mana tau hari tu, lampu warning tu memang jalan betul. Tengah-tengah jalan kereta mati. Dengan segera kita bagi isyarat kiri dan pandu keluar perlahan-lahan.
Kereta tu memang dah betul-betul kehabisan minyak. Sekarang kita harus telefon seseorang untuk datang, bawa anda ke kedai minyak, cari botol kosong isi minyak, pandu balik ke kereta anda tadi dan isi semula minyak. Jadinya masa yang sepatutnya cuma 4 minit nak sampai kerumah dah tukar jadi 1 jam.
Pulak tu, siap maki hamun sorang diri sebab kehabisan minyak itu tadi. Nak salahkan siapa? Kita juga kan..
Jadi moral of the story, bila mana kita perlu berbuat sesuatu, eloklah dibuat dengan segera. Janganlah suka menangguh kerja sebab akibatnya akan menyakitkan hati atau menyesal yang teramat sangat.
...............................................................................................................................................................
TAKING THINGS FOR GRANTED
Have we ever took a moment to sit and think about the above topic? I am sure we don't. We don't usually give a thought about it until it's too late or until we've lost something or somebody.
I live in an island. To me it is one of the beautiful island in the whole world. We are surrounded by the sea and mountains and natures. Guess how many times did I go to the beach for swimming or picnicking? Maybe once in the whole year for swimming and three times for fishing ( that means i'd go fishing every 4 months once). I know what you guys out there would say. It's like "what? What a waste.." Yeah..yeah..I know. That 's why I said we're taking things for granted.
Let's take another instance. There' someone who was once close to you. You had purposely put a barrier or distanced yourself from him/her because you were hurt by something he or she had done. You thought of patching things up but always putting a hold to it. One find day, a mutual friend came by and deliver a news you least expect it. He/she died! You sat there thinking, oh no, what had I done? Why didn't I let go of the past and make it up when I still had the chance? To make matters worst,you paid a visit to his/her parents after the funeral and they told you how happy they were to finally getting to meet you as their demised son/daughter had talked nothing but the best of you. Sad ain't it but that's us..
Here comes my favorite part, kids. They know we are always around to make things right from wrong. They know we are that someone they can fall on to should they face some difficulties. We are their favorite bankers who'd never charged them interest and always there for an instant loan . Sometimes without having to pay back.
They had everything delivered to them in silver platter of which we were partly to be blamed. For giving in too much. But what about them? They were so used to having us as their solid rock to fall onto that they never thought that one day we will not be able to protect them or lend them money or give them hope when they hit rock bottom. Because everyone dies. What would happen to them then? Children, grow up! It' for your own good. Don't take us (your parents) for granted!
We were given an assignment by our head department or a thesis by our lecturer and needed to be hand over in two weeks. "Okay, i still got plenty of time." that's our first thought. Two weeks became 1 week. Still we thought I still got time. Why in the world didn't we just sit for a few hours and finish it up and not waiting for the deadline to appear? Suddenly two weeks became tommorrow. By now, we had to find some lame excuses to feed our boss or lecturer. Who make the life complicated? We do, we brought it upon ourselves. We shouldn't think that time will wait for us. It waits for nobody.
We knew our car condition like the back of our hands. Even if its a 10 year old car, it is still our baby. Whenever you see that blinking yellow icon on your car dashboard, you knew matter-of-factly that your car needed gas to be filled. But once in a while you knew that, that blinking light can't be trusted too much and you ignore filling in the gas. Thought you could reach home safely. After all it's only a couple of kilometer away from where you are now. Well, What do we know. Suddenly your car gave a jerk. You had no choice but to signal out and exit the road fast as you can. Your car needed that gas badly. Instead of reaching home in a matter of 4 minutes, you now had to wait for someone to fetch you and get yourself to a gas station, buy a liter of gas and follow that someone back where your car was stranded and fill it in. All in all, it will take more than an hour.
And all the while you were cursing with the mouth of a truck-driver but again, who is to be blamed? Us, for taking things for granted.
Moral of the story, don't always dilly dally things that needed to be done. Show your love to your loved ones and find a space in your heart to forgive and forget the things people did that had hurt your feelings badly.
Rose
14th.July '12
Perbezaan Antara Orang Barat Dan Kita
Apa khabar semua dan assalamualaikum,
Dah hampir seminggu tak tulis blog. Mencari-cari topik terbaik untuk ditulis. Sebenarnya ada banyak topik yang berlegar didalam kepala tetapi agak berat dan membosankan bagi anak-anak untuk membacanya.
Lalu saya terfkir tentang perangai orang kita dan kita bandingkan dengan perangai "mat salleh".
Selalu kita dengar, mat salleh ni membawa "budaya kuning" iaitu budaya yang negatif atau budaya buruk. Pada pandangan saya, ada banyak perkara baik yang boleh kita ambil dan buat sebagai teladan didalam hidup kita. Didalam cabang pekerjaan saya dulu, dah terlalu banyak jenis manusia yang pernah saya temui dan yang paling teruk bukanlah "mat salleh" ni, tetapi yang datang dari India dan juga orang Arab.Mungkin ramai yang tidak percaya apabila saya katakan orang Arab tetapi itulah realitinya. Mereka jenis yang kasar, tidak tahu menghormati masa dan senang mengeluarkan kata-kata yang kesat apabila marah. Sebab itulah, Allah menurunkan ramai nabi-nabi dibumi Arab.
Mai kita buat sikit perbandingan :
i) Buang sampah merata-rata. Kita tengok mat salleh bila dia makan ais-krim, kertas aiskrim yang kecik tu pun dia pegang atau masukkan dalam beg galas dia, sampai jumpa tong sampah baru dia buang.
Bandingkan dengan orang kita, dia didalam kereta didepan, kita dalam kereta belakang. Sekali, tengok-tengok plastik teh O ais terlekat dicermin kereta kita siap bersembur dengan teh O ais tu tadi. Sakit hati tu satu hal, tak beradab satu hal. Pulak tu, boleh pulak jeling tengok dalam cermin pandang belakang,agaknya nak tengok reaksi kita! Dah menjadi kebiasaan, kita suka membuang sampah merata-rata tempat.
ii) Mat salleh ni selalunya suka membaca. Ada jugak yang tak suka tapi lebih ramai yang gemar membaca. Sesiapa yang terlibat dalam servis pelancongan ni tentu bersetuju dengan saya. Bila mereka berjemur dipantai, tetap ada sebuah buku ditangan, dia orang pergi makan, sementara menunggu makanan sampai, dia orang baca,sebelum tidor, dia orang baca. (untuk anak-anak pun dia orang tolong baca) Jadi dengan sendirinya anak-anak itu akan suka membaca sebab dah terbiasa dengan cara ini.
Sama seperti kita, bila nak tidor kita ajar anak baca Bismillah dan doa tidor. Jadi sampai besar pun anak-anak akan buat benda ini. Jadi apa salahnya kita tambahkan sikit selepas doa kita baca buku sebelum anak-anak tidor jadi bila besar mereka dengan sendirinya mengamalkan amalan ini. Ini tidak, kita mak bapak pun suka melepak rumah jiran bersembang berjam-jam, kalau tak pun pergi shopping mall jalan-jalan cuci mata, macamana anak-anak nak dapat sifat suka membaca ni.
iii) Makan terutamanya ditempat yang menyediakan buffet. Orang barat kalau makan dia orang akan mengambil apa yang di ingini dulu, dah habis nanti baru dia ambil lagi. Jadi makanan tak membazir.
Berbanding dengan orang kita.Kadang-kadang saya malu juga bila tengok sikap orang kita, bila saya kata orang kita, maksud saya bukan saja orang melayu tetapi juga orang Cina dan India sebab kita Malaysian. Buffet tu makanan nya berbagai-bagai dan banyak. Hotel atau restoran memang dah boleh agak berapa ramai orang yang akan makan ditempat mereka dan chef mereka juga memang berada ditepi dapur siap sedia untuk masak sekiranya makanan habis. Tetapi mengapa bila ambik makanan, semua makanan nak dibubuh sampai penuh pinggan termasuk dengan pencuci mulut sekali? Sepatutnya, cara yang lebih sopan, kita ambil sikit dulu apa yang kita betul-betul suka. Bila dah habis baru bangun lagi sekali dan ambil lagi. Suka hati kita nak bangun berapa kali pun sebab kita dah bayar dengan harga yang mahal untuk buffet tadi.
iv) Sikap yang paling saya suka tentang orang barat ialah, dia orang tak ambik pot pasal orang lain. Contohnya saya tinggal disebelah rumah "mat salleh" ni dan bekerja tak tentu masa. Si mat salleh ni tak kisah pun nak tanya kenapa awak selalu keluar rumah tak kira masa. Mereka akan tetap menegur kita dengan dua tiga ayat sahaja seperti good morning ke how are you ke. Itu sudah cukup untuk menceriakan hari kita.
Dibandingkan dengan orang kita, kita amat senang untuk membuka mulut dan bercerita perkara buruk tentang jiran dan kawan kita. Memang sedap bila mengata tu, tapi kalau kita sendiri diumpat dan kita terdengar orang bercakap perihal kita, boleh berperang jadinya. Tapi bila kita mengata orang, kita tak ingat apa perasaan orang itu kalau dia mendengar. Jadi sama-samalah kita renungkan.
v) Kalau berjanji dengan mat salleh, tak payah risau. Janji pukul 10pagi, pukul 9.50 dah terpacak menunggu. Jadi kerja kita akan berjalan dengan lancar sebab time tak lari, ikut time seperti yang dah diatur. Kalau ada mat salleh yang tak tepat janji, yang itu mungkin dah lama tinggal kat Malaysia, kalau tak pun dia orang pernah tinggal di India atau Arab. Ooi, masaalah dan menyakitkan jiwa bila orang tak reti nak ikut time ni.
Banyak kali bila saya berjanji dengan orang-orang kita, dah la tak tau nak datang ontime, separuh tu pulak langsung tak nampak batang hidung, pulak tu tak telefon ke sms ke bagi tau tak boleh datang.. Masya Allah..kenapa sampai macam ni sekali tabiat orang kita. Belajarlah menghormati masa. Kalau cakap pasal agama, bukan main berapi lagi hujah dia tapi benda yang senang macam ni pun tak tau nak jaga macam mana nak berdakwah kat orang lain.
Jadi,itulah sedikit sebanyak yang ingin saya kongsi bersama semua diluar sana. Mana yang elok kita ambil buat pedoman. Perangai dia orang yang tak elok tak payahlah kita ikut. Barulah kita boleh menjadi insan yang berhemah tinggi, hebat dan berbudi bahasa.
Sekian buat hari ini
Rose
14th.July '12
Hello everyone!
It's been nearly a week since I last update my blog. Searching for the best topic to write. Actually I had quite a few in mind but had to find the most readable before writing and then publishing it.
Finally, I settled to writing about the behaviour of the Europeans or the Westerners.
Before I write, please excuse my grammar and spelling, especially spelling because I tend to write using British spelling instead of American spelling as that was what we learnt in school years ago.
Many a time we heard and being told that the Europeans only bring bad influence or "yellow culture" literally translated from Malay. To my opinion,there are a lot of good influence that can be taken and blend in into our society. I used to work in service industry years ago and through my experience, I've met various type of people from all over the world and I can vouch that the worst behaviour doesn't come from either Europe or America. Sorry to say, but they come from India and Middle East. Maybe it's hard to accept for us being Muslim,but it's the truth. The Arabs are rough both in words and in character, that is
why God sent most prophets in Arab countries .... The Indians like to twist their words and had never been good in punctuality.I am not being racist. I am merely stating the facts.
Let's do a little comparison :
i) Littering: For an instance, a European would keep the ice-cream wrapper with him/her until they find the rubbish bin before they throw it off. Compare to us. There's a car in front of us and we're tailing behind. Suddenly some of iced lemon tea in it's plastic container were splashed right at our windscreen. It's because they throw it out from their moving car and to make matters worst, the driver is glancing from his rear mirror to see our reaction. What an idiot! As if we would be laughing with joy at such an annoying gesture.
So, that is us, littering anywhere we feel like it.
ii) Europeans like reading. There are some who are just not into reading but many do. Whoever had at one time or another been involved in service industry would agree with me. Take it when they were at the beach? There would be a book with them to read while sun-bathing, when they were waiting for their meals, there would be a book in their hands and they would read for their children before sleep. Thus, the children would take up this habit and do their own reading once they grow up.
Just like us, we teach our children to say a little prayer to Allah and some "doa", why don't we slip in a little reading for our children so that they too would regard books as something they would treasure and appreciate once they grow up. What we do today, is we bad-mouthed our neighbors, we gossiped for hours and we window shopping aimlessly every now and then. What do we get in return? Nothing!
iii) Buffet meals : This is another thing we should take a minute to look and learn how the Westerners behave themselves when approaching buffet table. Again not all of them are well-behaved but majority does. They would only place a few items in their plates, bring it to the table and savour it. After finishing it then only will they get up and get some other dishes that caught their eyes. That way, they don't waste the food unnecessarily.
We,Malaysians are the opposite. Sometimes it is kind of embarrassing to see our people behaving this way. When I say our people,it doesn't necessarily mean only the Malays, Chinese and Indians too as we are all Malaysians and most of us behaving that way. We would place our plates full of everything. Appetizers, main course even the desserts were all dump into a plate. Buffet means a counter or long table serving a variety of foods usually in hotels or restaurants. This also means that the hotel or restaurant knows how many customers to expect and even if the food were cleaned up earlier, they have their chefs by the stove ready to batter up another serving.
I've worked in hotel before and had heard nasty remarks from waiters, cooks or even their chefs when facing these type of guests. It is hurtful.
iv) The best attitude about these Europeans/Westerners are, they don't bother about other people's lives. They would still greet you hello and wish you to having a nice day but other than that, they are unobtrusive. This would already make my day.
What about us? We are a totally opposite society. We always wanted to interfere with other people's lives.It is unhealthy and we should make a stop right away.
v) When we make an appointment with the Europeans, there's nothing to worry about. The appointment is set at 10:00am, they'll be there by 09:50am. If there are those who is not punctual, then most probably he/she had lived in Malaysia or India or any of those Arab countries for a while. Especially the Indians. Their sense of punctuality is scary. Their 5 minutes is equal to 40 minutes. When you left, they'd call and insisted that they had been waiting since an hour ago. So, Malaysian + Indians + Middle East = no respect for punctuality. A few times my appointment with friends turned sour as they either didn't come on time or didn't show up at all. Without any call or text messages at all. Arghh.. I give up.
That's all that I can share with you today. Whatever is good, take and blend it into our daily lives. Leave the bad influence out. That way, people will respect us for what we are.
Have a nice evening,
Rose
7th.July '12
Dah hampir seminggu tak tulis blog. Mencari-cari topik terbaik untuk ditulis. Sebenarnya ada banyak topik yang berlegar didalam kepala tetapi agak berat dan membosankan bagi anak-anak untuk membacanya.
Lalu saya terfkir tentang perangai orang kita dan kita bandingkan dengan perangai "mat salleh".
Selalu kita dengar, mat salleh ni membawa "budaya kuning" iaitu budaya yang negatif atau budaya buruk. Pada pandangan saya, ada banyak perkara baik yang boleh kita ambil dan buat sebagai teladan didalam hidup kita. Didalam cabang pekerjaan saya dulu, dah terlalu banyak jenis manusia yang pernah saya temui dan yang paling teruk bukanlah "mat salleh" ni, tetapi yang datang dari India dan juga orang Arab.Mungkin ramai yang tidak percaya apabila saya katakan orang Arab tetapi itulah realitinya. Mereka jenis yang kasar, tidak tahu menghormati masa dan senang mengeluarkan kata-kata yang kesat apabila marah. Sebab itulah, Allah menurunkan ramai nabi-nabi dibumi Arab.
Mai kita buat sikit perbandingan :
i) Buang sampah merata-rata. Kita tengok mat salleh bila dia makan ais-krim, kertas aiskrim yang kecik tu pun dia pegang atau masukkan dalam beg galas dia, sampai jumpa tong sampah baru dia buang.
Bandingkan dengan orang kita, dia didalam kereta didepan, kita dalam kereta belakang. Sekali, tengok-tengok plastik teh O ais terlekat dicermin kereta kita siap bersembur dengan teh O ais tu tadi. Sakit hati tu satu hal, tak beradab satu hal. Pulak tu, boleh pulak jeling tengok dalam cermin pandang belakang,agaknya nak tengok reaksi kita! Dah menjadi kebiasaan, kita suka membuang sampah merata-rata tempat.
ii) Mat salleh ni selalunya suka membaca. Ada jugak yang tak suka tapi lebih ramai yang gemar membaca. Sesiapa yang terlibat dalam servis pelancongan ni tentu bersetuju dengan saya. Bila mereka berjemur dipantai, tetap ada sebuah buku ditangan, dia orang pergi makan, sementara menunggu makanan sampai, dia orang baca,sebelum tidor, dia orang baca. (untuk anak-anak pun dia orang tolong baca) Jadi dengan sendirinya anak-anak itu akan suka membaca sebab dah terbiasa dengan cara ini.
Sama seperti kita, bila nak tidor kita ajar anak baca Bismillah dan doa tidor. Jadi sampai besar pun anak-anak akan buat benda ini. Jadi apa salahnya kita tambahkan sikit selepas doa kita baca buku sebelum anak-anak tidor jadi bila besar mereka dengan sendirinya mengamalkan amalan ini. Ini tidak, kita mak bapak pun suka melepak rumah jiran bersembang berjam-jam, kalau tak pun pergi shopping mall jalan-jalan cuci mata, macamana anak-anak nak dapat sifat suka membaca ni.
iii) Makan terutamanya ditempat yang menyediakan buffet. Orang barat kalau makan dia orang akan mengambil apa yang di ingini dulu, dah habis nanti baru dia ambil lagi. Jadi makanan tak membazir.
Berbanding dengan orang kita.Kadang-kadang saya malu juga bila tengok sikap orang kita, bila saya kata orang kita, maksud saya bukan saja orang melayu tetapi juga orang Cina dan India sebab kita Malaysian. Buffet tu makanan nya berbagai-bagai dan banyak. Hotel atau restoran memang dah boleh agak berapa ramai orang yang akan makan ditempat mereka dan chef mereka juga memang berada ditepi dapur siap sedia untuk masak sekiranya makanan habis. Tetapi mengapa bila ambik makanan, semua makanan nak dibubuh sampai penuh pinggan termasuk dengan pencuci mulut sekali? Sepatutnya, cara yang lebih sopan, kita ambil sikit dulu apa yang kita betul-betul suka. Bila dah habis baru bangun lagi sekali dan ambil lagi. Suka hati kita nak bangun berapa kali pun sebab kita dah bayar dengan harga yang mahal untuk buffet tadi.
iv) Sikap yang paling saya suka tentang orang barat ialah, dia orang tak ambik pot pasal orang lain. Contohnya saya tinggal disebelah rumah "mat salleh" ni dan bekerja tak tentu masa. Si mat salleh ni tak kisah pun nak tanya kenapa awak selalu keluar rumah tak kira masa. Mereka akan tetap menegur kita dengan dua tiga ayat sahaja seperti good morning ke how are you ke. Itu sudah cukup untuk menceriakan hari kita.
Dibandingkan dengan orang kita, kita amat senang untuk membuka mulut dan bercerita perkara buruk tentang jiran dan kawan kita. Memang sedap bila mengata tu, tapi kalau kita sendiri diumpat dan kita terdengar orang bercakap perihal kita, boleh berperang jadinya. Tapi bila kita mengata orang, kita tak ingat apa perasaan orang itu kalau dia mendengar. Jadi sama-samalah kita renungkan.
v) Kalau berjanji dengan mat salleh, tak payah risau. Janji pukul 10pagi, pukul 9.50 dah terpacak menunggu. Jadi kerja kita akan berjalan dengan lancar sebab time tak lari, ikut time seperti yang dah diatur. Kalau ada mat salleh yang tak tepat janji, yang itu mungkin dah lama tinggal kat Malaysia, kalau tak pun dia orang pernah tinggal di India atau Arab. Ooi, masaalah dan menyakitkan jiwa bila orang tak reti nak ikut time ni.
Banyak kali bila saya berjanji dengan orang-orang kita, dah la tak tau nak datang ontime, separuh tu pulak langsung tak nampak batang hidung, pulak tu tak telefon ke sms ke bagi tau tak boleh datang.. Masya Allah..kenapa sampai macam ni sekali tabiat orang kita. Belajarlah menghormati masa. Kalau cakap pasal agama, bukan main berapi lagi hujah dia tapi benda yang senang macam ni pun tak tau nak jaga macam mana nak berdakwah kat orang lain.
Jadi,itulah sedikit sebanyak yang ingin saya kongsi bersama semua diluar sana. Mana yang elok kita ambil buat pedoman. Perangai dia orang yang tak elok tak payahlah kita ikut. Barulah kita boleh menjadi insan yang berhemah tinggi, hebat dan berbudi bahasa.
Sekian buat hari ini
Rose
14th.July '12
THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN US,MALAYSIANS AND WESTERNERS/EUROPEANS
Hello everyone!
It's been nearly a week since I last update my blog. Searching for the best topic to write. Actually I had quite a few in mind but had to find the most readable before writing and then publishing it.
Finally, I settled to writing about the behaviour of the Europeans or the Westerners.
Before I write, please excuse my grammar and spelling, especially spelling because I tend to write using British spelling instead of American spelling as that was what we learnt in school years ago.
Many a time we heard and being told that the Europeans only bring bad influence or "yellow culture" literally translated from Malay. To my opinion,there are a lot of good influence that can be taken and blend in into our society. I used to work in service industry years ago and through my experience, I've met various type of people from all over the world and I can vouch that the worst behaviour doesn't come from either Europe or America. Sorry to say, but they come from India and Middle East. Maybe it's hard to accept for us being Muslim,but it's the truth. The Arabs are rough both in words and in character, that is
why God sent most prophets in Arab countries .... The Indians like to twist their words and had never been good in punctuality.I am not being racist. I am merely stating the facts.
Let's do a little comparison :
i) Littering: For an instance, a European would keep the ice-cream wrapper with him/her until they find the rubbish bin before they throw it off. Compare to us. There's a car in front of us and we're tailing behind. Suddenly some of iced lemon tea in it's plastic container were splashed right at our windscreen. It's because they throw it out from their moving car and to make matters worst, the driver is glancing from his rear mirror to see our reaction. What an idiot! As if we would be laughing with joy at such an annoying gesture.
So, that is us, littering anywhere we feel like it.
ii) Europeans like reading. There are some who are just not into reading but many do. Whoever had at one time or another been involved in service industry would agree with me. Take it when they were at the beach? There would be a book with them to read while sun-bathing, when they were waiting for their meals, there would be a book in their hands and they would read for their children before sleep. Thus, the children would take up this habit and do their own reading once they grow up.
Just like us, we teach our children to say a little prayer to Allah and some "doa", why don't we slip in a little reading for our children so that they too would regard books as something they would treasure and appreciate once they grow up. What we do today, is we bad-mouthed our neighbors, we gossiped for hours and we window shopping aimlessly every now and then. What do we get in return? Nothing!
iii) Buffet meals : This is another thing we should take a minute to look and learn how the Westerners behave themselves when approaching buffet table. Again not all of them are well-behaved but majority does. They would only place a few items in their plates, bring it to the table and savour it. After finishing it then only will they get up and get some other dishes that caught their eyes. That way, they don't waste the food unnecessarily.
We,Malaysians are the opposite. Sometimes it is kind of embarrassing to see our people behaving this way. When I say our people,it doesn't necessarily mean only the Malays, Chinese and Indians too as we are all Malaysians and most of us behaving that way. We would place our plates full of everything. Appetizers, main course even the desserts were all dump into a plate. Buffet means a counter or long table serving a variety of foods usually in hotels or restaurants. This also means that the hotel or restaurant knows how many customers to expect and even if the food were cleaned up earlier, they have their chefs by the stove ready to batter up another serving.
I've worked in hotel before and had heard nasty remarks from waiters, cooks or even their chefs when facing these type of guests. It is hurtful.
iv) The best attitude about these Europeans/Westerners are, they don't bother about other people's lives. They would still greet you hello and wish you to having a nice day but other than that, they are unobtrusive. This would already make my day.
What about us? We are a totally opposite society. We always wanted to interfere with other people's lives.It is unhealthy and we should make a stop right away.
v) When we make an appointment with the Europeans, there's nothing to worry about. The appointment is set at 10:00am, they'll be there by 09:50am. If there are those who is not punctual, then most probably he/she had lived in Malaysia or India or any of those Arab countries for a while. Especially the Indians. Their sense of punctuality is scary. Their 5 minutes is equal to 40 minutes. When you left, they'd call and insisted that they had been waiting since an hour ago. So, Malaysian + Indians + Middle East = no respect for punctuality. A few times my appointment with friends turned sour as they either didn't come on time or didn't show up at all. Without any call or text messages at all. Arghh.. I give up.
That's all that I can share with you today. Whatever is good, take and blend it into our daily lives. Leave the bad influence out. That way, people will respect us for what we are.
Have a nice evening,
Rose
7th.July '12
SEKS DAN ANAK KITA
SEKS DAN ANAK KITA
Salam buat semua terutama buat anak-anak perempuan diluar sana.
Hari ni mak cik Rose nak cakap pasal sex. Sebelum tu saya nak minta maaf kepada semua ibu-bapa sekiranya tulisan saya ini menyinggung perasaan anda semua. Walaupun perkataan ini jarang kita ungkapkan terutamanya dihadapan anak-anak, tetapi saya rasa sudah sampai masanya kita mengenepikan perasaan malu dan tidak selesa dan memberi sedikit nasihat berkaitan perkara ini memandangkan keadaan diluar sana yang semakin parah.
Anak-anak, remaja adalah masa dimana kita selalunya membuat sesuatu perkara mengikut perasaan bukan akal fikiran. Akibatnya kita akan menurut perasaan seperti perasaan ingin tahu, perasaan ingin mencuba dan juga perasaan sayang kepada teman lelaki yang membawa anak-anak membuat satu kesilapan yang besar.
Disini mak cik Rose tak payah nak terangkan pasal dosa dan pahala kerana perkara ini dah terlalu umum untuk kita bincangkan. Semua tahu dosa berzina adalah salah satu daripada tujuh dosa besar. Apa yang ingin mak cik Rose bincangkan ialah, katakan setelah kita menjalin hubungan sex dengan teman lelaki kita (si lelaki tadi dah tentu-tentu nya happy sebab dah dapat kita), selepas sebulan kita mendapati diri kita hamil. Apa kita nak buat? Bunyi soalannya amat mudah. Tetapi inilah masa yang paling "crucial". Perasaan pertama yang kita rasa, mungkin panik, lepas tu takut,lepas tu sedih dan seterusnya semua perasaan akan datang yang membuatkan fikiran lebih bercelaru.
Kita call boyfriend tadi dan bagitau dia, senang saja dia cakap. Gugurkan kandungan itu.Kita dah melakukan satu dosa besar dengan hubungan sex itu tadi dan sekarang kita nak gugurkan pulak kandungan tu. Ini akan menambahkan dosa kita menjadi dosa besar yang kedua.
Didalam sepuluh orang lelaki yang mempunyai hubungan dengan wanita, mungkin 2 atau 3 orang sahaja yang akan bertanggungjawab sepenuhnya keatas perlakuannya tadi. Jadi bolehkah kita berharap kepada mereka?
Ini belum masuk bab malu lagi. Malu diri kita sendiri dan malu kepada ibu bapa. Anak-anak mak cik Rose dah banyak kali bila balik dari sekolah bagitau, "mama tau dak tadi kat sekolah, si polan si polan tu dah mengandung. Gambar dia buat hubungan sex ada dalam kamera telefon kawan kami". Ini baru disekolah. Kita dah rasa malu yang amat sangat sebab kawan-kawan semua dah tengok gambar kita belum lagi kat kampong. Silap haribulan, kita berhenti sekolah sebab tak tertanggung rasa malu.Bukankah ini akan menyebabkan masa depan yang cerah bertukar menjadi gelap?
Bayangkan perasaan anak-anak sendiri sekiranya ia terjadi kepada diri anda. Kepada siapa kita nak mengadu? Kita tinggal di Malaysia dan orang kita selalunya akan mengata dan menghina anak-anak perempuan yang terjebak didalam kes seperti ini. Ada banyak lagi dosa besar seperti arak atau berjudi yang orang Islam lakukan, tetapi berzina adalah sesuatu yang orang kita akan mencemik muka terhadap kita. Bolehkah kita lalui hari-hari kita dengan tenang?
Bila kita cuba beritahu makbapa, maki hamun yang kita terima. Terutamanya ayah kita. Amat sukar bagi kaum bapa untuk menerima kesilapan anak mereka apabila berkaitan dengan kes sebegini. Saya rasa masih ramai ibu bapa yang tidak akan mahu mendengar penjelasan anak-anak mereka sebaliknya penampar atau tendangan yang akan diterima oleh anak-anak ini. Memang betul, anak-anak kita telah melakukan sesuatu yang amat memalukan kita sebagai ibu bapa, tetapi kalau kita sendiri memaling muka daripada menolong mereka, siapa lagi yang ada untuk mereka mengadu. Inilah salah satu sebab mengapa kita lihat banyak kes pembuangan bayi dimerata-rata tempat sampaikan sanggup buang anak kat dalam tong sampah. Mereka dah hilang arah, tak tahu apa nak buat lagi disebabkan cemuhan dan perasaan takut itu tadi.
Sebagai ibubapa, kita harus bersikap rasional, buruk baik pun anak kita juga, kalau nak ikut mulut orang, berpecah belah lah rumahtangga kita. Biarlah apa orang nak kata, bagi pihak kita, kita boleh menolong anak dengan membawa mereka ke rumah perlindungan yang banyak dibangunkan untuk menolong anak-anak gadis ini. Anak-anak ini dah pun menanggung satu beban yang berat disebabkan kesilapan mereka sendiri, janganlah kita menambah lagi penderitaan mereka yang boleh menyebabkan kita kehilangan anak-anak ini.
Pesan mak cik Rose, sekiranya perkara ini terjadi:
Here, I don't wish to talk about the sin we committed when we involved ourselves in sex before marriage as I am positive each and everyone of us are fully aware of this.
What I want to talk about is, let say after we had had sex with our boy friend, we found out that we were pregnant.What am I gonna do? That is a simple and straight forward question. But, really, this is the most crucial time for a girl at a tender age to have to think big about her life and another life inside her.
First she'd panic, then maybe fear, then sadness overcomes the first two and later all mixed emotions come cramping inside her head.
She may by then called her boyfriend telling him about the unfortunate news. The best answer she can get from him was abort the child. Easy for him to say. Already we had committed one of seven biggest sins and now to abort the baby?
In 10 men that is having a relationship with women, maybe two or three would take full responsibility towards their women.So, can we place our hopes on them?
The above is the initial feelings once we realized what had happened.
What about shame? By now we are so ashamed of ourselves and we had caused our parents (especially the Moslem community) the most unspeakable embarrassment they might face in their lives.
A few times, my daughters coming home from school and told me, "Ma, you know there's a girl who got pregnant and they got her sex pictures downloaded in the phone and everybody has access to it."
News like this spread like an open fire. Soon the whole school will talk about it. It makes you walk with your head down. Full of remorse and ashamed of yourselves. You would even think of quitting school. And then what? You lost the better future you may had because you had to leave school earlier than you should.
Who could you turn to should it happen to you? We live in this community where people will talk and insult us and use disparaging remarks that makes you cringe with humiliation. Can we lead our lives as normal as before?
When we tried telling our parents, we would receive a flow of abusive words, words that is sharper than a sword. Father tend to usually be the harshest. As if not enough with his abusive language, some would go to the extreme, by physically abuse, like slapping or kicking their daughters for bringing shame to the family. Worse come to worst, the girls would be chased out from the family.
It is true that our daughters had bring shame to the family but if we too were to turn our back on them, who else is there to help them in their most darkest hour? This is why we see many new-born babies were being thrown into the rubbish bin, left by the river banks, being flushed into the toilet bowl, these despicable manners outraged us but who can we blame. The girls did what they did because at every turn and corner only thing they got is that scornful looks and this could lead them to do what they had done. Together let's think about it!
As parents, we should act rational.Good or bad, they are still our children. Let people talk. We should be protecting our children even though they had hurt us beyond words. Take them to Girls' Shelter that caters for girls in this sort of situation.
They had made mistake and probably had learnt their lessons well, we play our part by being a mom or a dad for them. That should be more than enough for them.
For girls, should it happen to you :
Salam buat semua terutama buat anak-anak perempuan diluar sana.
Hari ni mak cik Rose nak cakap pasal sex. Sebelum tu saya nak minta maaf kepada semua ibu-bapa sekiranya tulisan saya ini menyinggung perasaan anda semua. Walaupun perkataan ini jarang kita ungkapkan terutamanya dihadapan anak-anak, tetapi saya rasa sudah sampai masanya kita mengenepikan perasaan malu dan tidak selesa dan memberi sedikit nasihat berkaitan perkara ini memandangkan keadaan diluar sana yang semakin parah.
Anak-anak, remaja adalah masa dimana kita selalunya membuat sesuatu perkara mengikut perasaan bukan akal fikiran. Akibatnya kita akan menurut perasaan seperti perasaan ingin tahu, perasaan ingin mencuba dan juga perasaan sayang kepada teman lelaki yang membawa anak-anak membuat satu kesilapan yang besar.
Disini mak cik Rose tak payah nak terangkan pasal dosa dan pahala kerana perkara ini dah terlalu umum untuk kita bincangkan. Semua tahu dosa berzina adalah salah satu daripada tujuh dosa besar. Apa yang ingin mak cik Rose bincangkan ialah, katakan setelah kita menjalin hubungan sex dengan teman lelaki kita (si lelaki tadi dah tentu-tentu nya happy sebab dah dapat kita), selepas sebulan kita mendapati diri kita hamil. Apa kita nak buat? Bunyi soalannya amat mudah. Tetapi inilah masa yang paling "crucial". Perasaan pertama yang kita rasa, mungkin panik, lepas tu takut,lepas tu sedih dan seterusnya semua perasaan akan datang yang membuatkan fikiran lebih bercelaru.
Kita call boyfriend tadi dan bagitau dia, senang saja dia cakap. Gugurkan kandungan itu.Kita dah melakukan satu dosa besar dengan hubungan sex itu tadi dan sekarang kita nak gugurkan pulak kandungan tu. Ini akan menambahkan dosa kita menjadi dosa besar yang kedua.
Didalam sepuluh orang lelaki yang mempunyai hubungan dengan wanita, mungkin 2 atau 3 orang sahaja yang akan bertanggungjawab sepenuhnya keatas perlakuannya tadi. Jadi bolehkah kita berharap kepada mereka?
Ini belum masuk bab malu lagi. Malu diri kita sendiri dan malu kepada ibu bapa. Anak-anak mak cik Rose dah banyak kali bila balik dari sekolah bagitau, "mama tau dak tadi kat sekolah, si polan si polan tu dah mengandung. Gambar dia buat hubungan sex ada dalam kamera telefon kawan kami". Ini baru disekolah. Kita dah rasa malu yang amat sangat sebab kawan-kawan semua dah tengok gambar kita belum lagi kat kampong. Silap haribulan, kita berhenti sekolah sebab tak tertanggung rasa malu.Bukankah ini akan menyebabkan masa depan yang cerah bertukar menjadi gelap?
Bayangkan perasaan anak-anak sendiri sekiranya ia terjadi kepada diri anda. Kepada siapa kita nak mengadu? Kita tinggal di Malaysia dan orang kita selalunya akan mengata dan menghina anak-anak perempuan yang terjebak didalam kes seperti ini. Ada banyak lagi dosa besar seperti arak atau berjudi yang orang Islam lakukan, tetapi berzina adalah sesuatu yang orang kita akan mencemik muka terhadap kita. Bolehkah kita lalui hari-hari kita dengan tenang?
Bila kita cuba beritahu makbapa, maki hamun yang kita terima. Terutamanya ayah kita. Amat sukar bagi kaum bapa untuk menerima kesilapan anak mereka apabila berkaitan dengan kes sebegini. Saya rasa masih ramai ibu bapa yang tidak akan mahu mendengar penjelasan anak-anak mereka sebaliknya penampar atau tendangan yang akan diterima oleh anak-anak ini. Memang betul, anak-anak kita telah melakukan sesuatu yang amat memalukan kita sebagai ibu bapa, tetapi kalau kita sendiri memaling muka daripada menolong mereka, siapa lagi yang ada untuk mereka mengadu. Inilah salah satu sebab mengapa kita lihat banyak kes pembuangan bayi dimerata-rata tempat sampaikan sanggup buang anak kat dalam tong sampah. Mereka dah hilang arah, tak tahu apa nak buat lagi disebabkan cemuhan dan perasaan takut itu tadi.
Sebagai ibubapa, kita harus bersikap rasional, buruk baik pun anak kita juga, kalau nak ikut mulut orang, berpecah belah lah rumahtangga kita. Biarlah apa orang nak kata, bagi pihak kita, kita boleh menolong anak dengan membawa mereka ke rumah perlindungan yang banyak dibangunkan untuk menolong anak-anak gadis ini. Anak-anak ini dah pun menanggung satu beban yang berat disebabkan kesilapan mereka sendiri, janganlah kita menambah lagi penderitaan mereka yang boleh menyebabkan kita kehilangan anak-anak ini.
Pesan mak cik Rose, sekiranya perkara ini terjadi:
- carilah seseorang yang kita rasa dapat membantu kita dengan pemikiran yang positif
- Jangan panik. Cuba berfikir dengan tenang. Jalan yang sebaiknya kalau dapat bernikah dengan teman lelaki tadi. Tapi yang dah bekerja lah. Kalau dia pun baru 17 tahun, masih bermain guli lagi macam mana nak kawin..
- Jalan terbaik adalah mengelakkan hubungan sex dengan teman lelaki sebab akibat daripadanya terlalu banyak. Tak ada satu pun daripadanya yang baik.
- Jangan melakukan sesuatu yang boleh mengancam nyawa sendiri kerana ia tidak membawa kepada apa-apa kebaikan.
Kepada ibubapa pula, kita sama-sama dapat memantau anak-anak:
- Dengan sifat mengambil tahu aktiviti harian mereka. Bagi saya, masa yang paling sesuai untuk saya bersembang secara santai dengan anak-anak perempuan adalah semasa memandu, iaitu semasa kami bertiga sahaja. Tidak ada orang lelaki. Masa inilah saya akan memberi pandangan tentang hal-hal semasa, memberi sedikit panduan mengenai agama dan banyak lagi yang boleh dibualkan secara santai.Selalunya mereka terpaksa mendengar sebab dah tak boleh nak buat apa. Kereta bergerak, radio ditutup, mahu tak mahu terpaksa juga dia orang mendengar. Jadi sedikit sebanyak pesan kita itu akan masuk jugak kedalam kepala mereka sebab dah hari-hari dengar benda yang sama.
- Saya akan menghantar dan mengambil kemana saja mereka nak pergi. Saya juga benarkan mereka keluar dengan teman-teman sekolah walaupun budak lelaki. Ini untuk mengelak mereka daripada berasa terlalu dikongkong.
- Saya membuka ruang kepada mereka untuk memberitahu apa saja didalam fikiran mereka termasuk bercakap mengenai sex walaupun perkara ini agak janggal dan memalukan.
- Saya percayakan anak-anak perempuan saya dan walaupun mereka tidak menutup aurat sepenuhnya tetapi mereka tahu had-had batasan yang boleh dan tidak boleh mereka lakukan.
Saya bukanlah seorang yang terpelajar atau pun seorang yang tinggi ilmu ugamanya, tetapi dengan sedikit kesedaran yang ada, saya ingin kongsikan masaalah yang melanda anak-anak gadis melayu kita dari menjadi lebih parah lagi. Saya juga bukanlah ibu yang sempurna tetapi sekadar ingin bersama-sama memberi panduan kepada anak-anak gadis agar sentiasa peka dengan keadaan disekeliling.
Sekian. Wassalam. Sekali lagi saya ingin memohon maaf dari semua sekiranya tulisan saya ini menyinggung perasaan sesiapa saja diluar sana.
Rose
30th.June '12
SEX AND GIRLS
Hello again to all of you ,
Sekian. Wassalam. Sekali lagi saya ingin memohon maaf dari semua sekiranya tulisan saya ini menyinggung perasaan sesiapa saja diluar sana.
Rose
30th.June '12
SEX AND GIRLS
Hello again to all of you ,
Today, I'd like us to talk about the taboo subject, especially in our country,Malaysia, and that subject is SEX. Before I proceed, I wish to apologize to all the parents who feel that this subject shouldn't be brought up at all or shouldn't be discussed in an open manner like blog or face book. Even though we would never want to bring up the subject unnecessarily in front of the girls, I think it's high time we put aside the uncomfortable feelings whenever this subject was brought up and start educating them as much as we can.
Girls, during our adolescent years, we tend to follow our hearts not our head,hence we will follow what the heart says. There are curiosity, then, wanting to know the unknown and then there is a feeling of love (you may think it's your greatest love of all) towards your boyfriend. This is when the biggest mistake may have taken place. You give in to him.
Girls, during our adolescent years, we tend to follow our hearts not our head,hence we will follow what the heart says. There are curiosity, then, wanting to know the unknown and then there is a feeling of love (you may think it's your greatest love of all) towards your boyfriend. This is when the biggest mistake may have taken place. You give in to him.
Here, I don't wish to talk about the sin we committed when we involved ourselves in sex before marriage as I am positive each and everyone of us are fully aware of this.
What I want to talk about is, let say after we had had sex with our boy friend, we found out that we were pregnant.What am I gonna do? That is a simple and straight forward question. But, really, this is the most crucial time for a girl at a tender age to have to think big about her life and another life inside her.
First she'd panic, then maybe fear, then sadness overcomes the first two and later all mixed emotions come cramping inside her head.
She may by then called her boyfriend telling him about the unfortunate news. The best answer she can get from him was abort the child. Easy for him to say. Already we had committed one of seven biggest sins and now to abort the baby?
In 10 men that is having a relationship with women, maybe two or three would take full responsibility towards their women.So, can we place our hopes on them?
The above is the initial feelings once we realized what had happened.
What about shame? By now we are so ashamed of ourselves and we had caused our parents (especially the Moslem community) the most unspeakable embarrassment they might face in their lives.
A few times, my daughters coming home from school and told me, "Ma, you know there's a girl who got pregnant and they got her sex pictures downloaded in the phone and everybody has access to it."
News like this spread like an open fire. Soon the whole school will talk about it. It makes you walk with your head down. Full of remorse and ashamed of yourselves. You would even think of quitting school. And then what? You lost the better future you may had because you had to leave school earlier than you should.
Who could you turn to should it happen to you? We live in this community where people will talk and insult us and use disparaging remarks that makes you cringe with humiliation. Can we lead our lives as normal as before?
When we tried telling our parents, we would receive a flow of abusive words, words that is sharper than a sword. Father tend to usually be the harshest. As if not enough with his abusive language, some would go to the extreme, by physically abuse, like slapping or kicking their daughters for bringing shame to the family. Worse come to worst, the girls would be chased out from the family.
It is true that our daughters had bring shame to the family but if we too were to turn our back on them, who else is there to help them in their most darkest hour? This is why we see many new-born babies were being thrown into the rubbish bin, left by the river banks, being flushed into the toilet bowl, these despicable manners outraged us but who can we blame. The girls did what they did because at every turn and corner only thing they got is that scornful looks and this could lead them to do what they had done. Together let's think about it!
As parents, we should act rational.Good or bad, they are still our children. Let people talk. We should be protecting our children even though they had hurt us beyond words. Take them to Girls' Shelter that caters for girls in this sort of situation.
They had made mistake and probably had learnt their lessons well, we play our part by being a mom or a dad for them. That should be more than enough for them.
For girls, should it happen to you :
- Find someone who is positive thinking and talk to her/him
- Don't panic. Think calmly. The best way is to marry the guy but if he is just seventeen and jobless and still playing video games, than you are better off without him.
- The best way is to avoid sex with your boyfriend ( wait until you are married)
- Don't do anything foolish that can harm yourself. Remember every problem can be solved.
For parents:
- Find out what is their daily activities. As for me, the best time to talk to them about the birds and the bees and anything in general is when I am driving. Me and my 2 daughters inside the car. I would talk about anything that came to my mind. They had no choice but to listen since the radio is off and the car is moving.
- I would usually send and fetch them to anywhere they want to go. They can go for bowling or movie or have meals with their friend. It can be troublesome at times but at least I know they are safe.
- I let them speak their mind about almost everything they want to know including sex. It is kind of awkward and embarrassing but someone had to do it.
- Last but not least, I trust my children. I know them better than they know themselves. I believe we should show some respect towards children and we'll receive the same if not more from them.
I am not the most educated mother and I am not a highly religious person, but with a little conscience that I have, I'd like to share the thoughts with all about this dilemma which is faced by us all.
That's all for today. Pheww..That's a long one. Hope none of you would stop reading half way through.
Best regards,
Rose
30th.June '12
LET'S TALK ABOUT MEN
Salam buat semua,
SOAL LELAKI
Hari ni jom kita bercakap pasal orang lelaki pula. Kenapa dengan orang lelaki? Sebab kalau dah tak ada cerita yang lebih menarik, orang perempuan suka bercakap pasal orang lelaki. Macam orang lelaki juga, kalau tak cakap pasal perempuan, topic yang menarik ialah kereta atau gadjet terbaru..
Mula-mula kita cakap pasal perangai tak elok mereka.
i) Pemalas tahap gaban. Kalau balik rumah tu, buang baju macam ada house-keeping staff yang akan bersihkan bilik dia. Dah makan, pinggan sebiji pun tak reti nak basuh. Bukan tak ada yang rajin..ada juga, tapi tak ramai.
ii) Yang mana yang handsome sikit tu, dia punya perasan tu lebih dari perempuan. Macam anak lelaki saya. Dia kata sambil melawak.."Ni ada rupa, kira okay lah tu". Amboi perasannya. Saya pun tak mau mengalah menjawab balik, "memang la awak tu ada rupa sikit, tapi gene tu mai dari mana? Dari mama dan abah jugak kan? Hah .Syok jugak kenakan anak kadang-kadang.
iii) Dia orang kalau cakap, selalu fikir dia saja yang betul. Dia buat salah pun, beriya-iya kata betul, kalau betul lagi kuatlah suara dia orang.
iv) Orang lelaki ni, bila dia tahu orang perempuan boleh buat semua kerja, dia akan lepas tangan. Contoh seperti bayar bil, bayar sewa rumah, tingkap kat rumah pecah atau apa-apa saja. Dia orang akan buat tak tahu sebab dia tahu orang perempuan selalunya akan buat juga. Cara terbaik nak elakkan sakit hati, kita pun buat tak tahu, biarkan saja.
v) Ubat gigi: Benda ni rasanya dilalui oleh seluruh penduduk alam iaitu bila nak picit ubat gigi, kenapa picit dari tengah atau atas, salah ke kalau picit dari bawah.
Sifat semulajadi lelaki yang perempuan suka :
i) Kita rasa selamat bila mereka berada disebelah, tak kiralah lelaki itu, suami ke, kekasih ke, anak ke ataupun adik/abang. Time tu kalau nak bergaduh dengan orang pun boleh sebab kita tahu ada orang yang boleh protect kita.
ii) Sifat kepimpinan : Sebab itu Allah jadikan lelaki sebagai imam sebab mereka selalunya tegas dan berani apabila berhadapan dengan masaalah dan sifat ini menjadi milik mereka sejak azali dan semula-jadi. Sifat-sifat inilah yang selalunya disenangi oleh kaum wanita tapi jangan lah disalah guna pulak.
iii) Lelaki memang jenis yang lasak. Perempuan suka mereka yang aktif dalam sukan dengan bentuk badan yang tegap dan sasa. Kalau muka jambu macam K Pop tu boleh buat kita rasa macam kawan dengan perempuan la pulak. Ingat lelaki je suka tengok badan perempuan?
iv) Sifat tegas. Tegas itu sexy. Tegas ya, bukan garang . Hah..itu tak sexy, itu buat perempuan menyampah . Bila memberi arahan, gunakan suara tegas bukan menengking. Barulah ramai peminat.
v) Orang lelaki yang kreatif. Bila dia free, dia tengok pagar dah nak jatuh, dia tegakkan balik. Dia tengok basikal buruk masih boleh digunakan, dia modify.. Ini semua orang perempuan tak berapa nak pandai buat, jadi dia suka bila orang lelaki buat kerja2 yang macam ni..nampak macho.
Jadi, orang lelaki, gunakan kelebihan yang Allah Ta'alla anugerahkan kepada anda semua ke jalan yang bermanfaat bukan pergi melepak tak tentu hala.
Rasanya itulah yang dapat saya kongsi untuk hari ini. Kita jumpa di lain kali pula, InsyaAllah..
Rose 28th.June '12
*******************************************************************************
Hello to all out there,
LET'S TALK ABOUT MEN
Today, lets talk about men. Why men? Because that's a favorite topic besides shopping. Just like men, if they 're not talking about cars or newly obtained gadget, then their next favorite topic is..girls.
First, let's talk about bad habits:
i) Highest-rating for laziness goes to...men! Once they got home from work, they'd take off their shirts or pants or underwear and leave it where they were standing. As if in a few moments, a house-keeping staff will be coming and clear all the mess they caused. After meal, the single plate that they used were just left in the washing basin for their old-time favorite person to wash, their mom.
Not that all men are lazy but majority are.
ii) Guys who are good-looking usually are so vain that they thought they can get away with their looks. My son once mischievously said to me, "I got the looks, so I guess I should be alright" (I was nagging because he was skipping school every now and then) of which I replied sweetly, Yeah sure you got the looks but whose gene were there inside you? It came from me and your dad right? So, that makes us better looking than you are. You are only the secondary product. Sometimes it's nice to be on the upper hand than your children.
iii) They always think they are right even when they were wrong. Men!!!
iv) Men like to take advantage of women's helpfulness. Once they know women would usually do these things, they'd shift the responsibility to us. Take for example, paying utility bills, house rent or a broken window, they would ignore it because they knew one way or the other, we will end up doing it.
To avoid heart-sick, just leave it.
v) This problem has affected all house-hold in the whole universe. Tooth-paste! You must be either grinning or grimacing when you reached at this sentence. Yeap.. why can't they press it from the bottom of the tube? Why must it be in the middle or upper neck. God..annoying to the extend of madness. But then, since I am sure they will not change sometime sooner, the next best thing to do is, If you can't beat them, join them.
POSITIVE TRAITS IN MEN THAT WOMEN LIKE :
i) We feel safe and protected with them beside us, be it your husband, your son or brother. They have that power that makes us even ready to pick a fight with anybody out there knowing that our men are by our sides.
ii) Leadership : That is why God created men to be a leader. Some women may not agree with me here. They have these calmness and firmness when faced/shoved with huge amount of workload or problems. They were born with it and this is one of the traits that women find it appealing. Just don't over-do it guys!
iii) Girls like men who is active in outdoor activities. That rugged and unkempt look attracted women better than the metro sexual type. They've got great healthy bodies. Think only guys admire women's curve? Girls do too, you know? Ehmm...Can this be categorized in positive trait? Well, never mind. As long as girls out there find it okay.
iv) Firm : Firm is sexy. Not harsh. Harshness is so not sexy. In fact it make the girls to want to run away as far as they can. Firm is when men take hold of a situation and deal with it authoritatively.
v) A handy guy. A guy who saw an old bicycle lying at the garage, grab it and work it until it works like normal or clearing up the shrubs behind the house. Those were the things that women don't usually do but like it when men pick up their tools and sweat it out.
So, guys, use the gift that God has bestowed upon you to be a better person not misusing it.
I guess that's all for today. Until then, ciao..
Rose
28th.June '12
SOAL LELAKI
Hari ni jom kita bercakap pasal orang lelaki pula. Kenapa dengan orang lelaki? Sebab kalau dah tak ada cerita yang lebih menarik, orang perempuan suka bercakap pasal orang lelaki. Macam orang lelaki juga, kalau tak cakap pasal perempuan, topic yang menarik ialah kereta atau gadjet terbaru..
Mula-mula kita cakap pasal perangai tak elok mereka.
i) Pemalas tahap gaban. Kalau balik rumah tu, buang baju macam ada house-keeping staff yang akan bersihkan bilik dia. Dah makan, pinggan sebiji pun tak reti nak basuh. Bukan tak ada yang rajin..ada juga, tapi tak ramai.
ii) Yang mana yang handsome sikit tu, dia punya perasan tu lebih dari perempuan. Macam anak lelaki saya. Dia kata sambil melawak.."Ni ada rupa, kira okay lah tu". Amboi perasannya. Saya pun tak mau mengalah menjawab balik, "memang la awak tu ada rupa sikit, tapi gene tu mai dari mana? Dari mama dan abah jugak kan? Hah .Syok jugak kenakan anak kadang-kadang.
iii) Dia orang kalau cakap, selalu fikir dia saja yang betul. Dia buat salah pun, beriya-iya kata betul, kalau betul lagi kuatlah suara dia orang.
iv) Orang lelaki ni, bila dia tahu orang perempuan boleh buat semua kerja, dia akan lepas tangan. Contoh seperti bayar bil, bayar sewa rumah, tingkap kat rumah pecah atau apa-apa saja. Dia orang akan buat tak tahu sebab dia tahu orang perempuan selalunya akan buat juga. Cara terbaik nak elakkan sakit hati, kita pun buat tak tahu, biarkan saja.
v) Ubat gigi: Benda ni rasanya dilalui oleh seluruh penduduk alam iaitu bila nak picit ubat gigi, kenapa picit dari tengah atau atas, salah ke kalau picit dari bawah.
Sifat semulajadi lelaki yang perempuan suka :
i) Kita rasa selamat bila mereka berada disebelah, tak kiralah lelaki itu, suami ke, kekasih ke, anak ke ataupun adik/abang. Time tu kalau nak bergaduh dengan orang pun boleh sebab kita tahu ada orang yang boleh protect kita.
ii) Sifat kepimpinan : Sebab itu Allah jadikan lelaki sebagai imam sebab mereka selalunya tegas dan berani apabila berhadapan dengan masaalah dan sifat ini menjadi milik mereka sejak azali dan semula-jadi. Sifat-sifat inilah yang selalunya disenangi oleh kaum wanita tapi jangan lah disalah guna pulak.
iii) Lelaki memang jenis yang lasak. Perempuan suka mereka yang aktif dalam sukan dengan bentuk badan yang tegap dan sasa. Kalau muka jambu macam K Pop tu boleh buat kita rasa macam kawan dengan perempuan la pulak. Ingat lelaki je suka tengok badan perempuan?
iv) Sifat tegas. Tegas itu sexy. Tegas ya, bukan garang . Hah..itu tak sexy, itu buat perempuan menyampah . Bila memberi arahan, gunakan suara tegas bukan menengking. Barulah ramai peminat.
v) Orang lelaki yang kreatif. Bila dia free, dia tengok pagar dah nak jatuh, dia tegakkan balik. Dia tengok basikal buruk masih boleh digunakan, dia modify.. Ini semua orang perempuan tak berapa nak pandai buat, jadi dia suka bila orang lelaki buat kerja2 yang macam ni..nampak macho.
Jadi, orang lelaki, gunakan kelebihan yang Allah Ta'alla anugerahkan kepada anda semua ke jalan yang bermanfaat bukan pergi melepak tak tentu hala.
Rasanya itulah yang dapat saya kongsi untuk hari ini. Kita jumpa di lain kali pula, InsyaAllah..
Rose 28th.June '12
*******************************************************************************
Hello to all out there,
LET'S TALK ABOUT MEN
Today, lets talk about men. Why men? Because that's a favorite topic besides shopping. Just like men, if they 're not talking about cars or newly obtained gadget, then their next favorite topic is..girls.
First, let's talk about bad habits:
i) Highest-rating for laziness goes to...men! Once they got home from work, they'd take off their shirts or pants or underwear and leave it where they were standing. As if in a few moments, a house-keeping staff will be coming and clear all the mess they caused. After meal, the single plate that they used were just left in the washing basin for their old-time favorite person to wash, their mom.
Not that all men are lazy but majority are.
ii) Guys who are good-looking usually are so vain that they thought they can get away with their looks. My son once mischievously said to me, "I got the looks, so I guess I should be alright" (I was nagging because he was skipping school every now and then) of which I replied sweetly, Yeah sure you got the looks but whose gene were there inside you? It came from me and your dad right? So, that makes us better looking than you are. You are only the secondary product. Sometimes it's nice to be on the upper hand than your children.
iii) They always think they are right even when they were wrong. Men!!!
iv) Men like to take advantage of women's helpfulness. Once they know women would usually do these things, they'd shift the responsibility to us. Take for example, paying utility bills, house rent or a broken window, they would ignore it because they knew one way or the other, we will end up doing it.
To avoid heart-sick, just leave it.
v) This problem has affected all house-hold in the whole universe. Tooth-paste! You must be either grinning or grimacing when you reached at this sentence. Yeap.. why can't they press it from the bottom of the tube? Why must it be in the middle or upper neck. God..annoying to the extend of madness. But then, since I am sure they will not change sometime sooner, the next best thing to do is, If you can't beat them, join them.
POSITIVE TRAITS IN MEN THAT WOMEN LIKE :
i) We feel safe and protected with them beside us, be it your husband, your son or brother. They have that power that makes us even ready to pick a fight with anybody out there knowing that our men are by our sides.
ii) Leadership : That is why God created men to be a leader. Some women may not agree with me here. They have these calmness and firmness when faced/shoved with huge amount of workload or problems. They were born with it and this is one of the traits that women find it appealing. Just don't over-do it guys!
iii) Girls like men who is active in outdoor activities. That rugged and unkempt look attracted women better than the metro sexual type. They've got great healthy bodies. Think only guys admire women's curve? Girls do too, you know? Ehmm...Can this be categorized in positive trait? Well, never mind. As long as girls out there find it okay.
iv) Firm : Firm is sexy. Not harsh. Harshness is so not sexy. In fact it make the girls to want to run away as far as they can. Firm is when men take hold of a situation and deal with it authoritatively.
v) A handy guy. A guy who saw an old bicycle lying at the garage, grab it and work it until it works like normal or clearing up the shrubs behind the house. Those were the things that women don't usually do but like it when men pick up their tools and sweat it out.
So, guys, use the gift that God has bestowed upon you to be a better person not misusing it.
I guess that's all for today. Until then, ciao..
Rose
28th.June '12
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)